Zilch

I had such plans for today's blog post. I was going to knit or crochet a cactus, and I had the perfect Z name for it. I already purchased a pot, and I have plenty of yarn in appropriate colors...

And I knit nothing all week. Well, not nothing. On Saturday I knit about five rounds of this scarf.

Some weeks I just can't get anything done. I sat in front of the TV and watched Legion without even a projet in my lap.

So, for those of you who are new around these parts, you may have noticed my knitted letters. There's a story around those. They first made their appearance in 2015.

They are actually useful, sort of. They're monogrammed gift card holders...

They are no longer listed in my shop Zizi Rho Designs, but if anyone would like to purchase one, these letters are still available...

There's just something about Z-day for the A to Z... Every year it seems like I'm so done at this point. How about you? Are you happy April is over? Did you do the challenge? Are you planning on blogging in May?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

You're Not a Train

The other night as I was perusing my Twitter feed, I stumbled upon this post:

You are not a train. pic.twitter.com/pq3JGiLxSV

— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) April 23, 2018

I have not laughed that hard in a long time. Too long.

So, I'm sharing.

I don't know if you'll find this as funny as I did. But sometimes something just strikes you, you know? And if you want more laughs, take a look at all the replies. They go from the obvious (pointing out that there are plenty of people who can't read the sign who aren't trains) to the ridiculous.

This is now the wallpaper on my phone.

Did you find this funny? (I doubt you found it as funny as I did.) When was the last time you had a really great laugh? Do you have any good jokes you can share?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

X-tra

I was back at the continuation high school. I swear, some of these things only happen there...

Yasmine walked in late. I explained the assignment to her. She explained that she didn't do the work, that she only was in the class to make T-shirts, which she wasn't doing that day.

(It's the graphic production class--read: computer assisted art class--and some of the students are on other projects.)

Yasmine told me she'd be watching a video, which is what she does most days. Alas, many in this class just waste their time in this way, so it's a battle I don't fight anymore.

We were twenty minutes into class. The room was silent.

Yasmine pulled out her phone and spoke to someone. Now, she wasn't loud, per se, but in a silent room, I could hear everything. I'd love to report what she was talking about, but alas, her conversation was in Spanish. Something about mesa. That's all I caught.

It sounded like whoever she was talking to wasn't getting what she was saying as she repeated it a couple times. Then she hung up in a huff and put her phone in her back pocket.

I had been giving her a death glare the whole time, but she was oblivious. So, I gently explained that next time she should take her phone calls outside of class.

"Why? It's cold out there. They're not doing anything. I wasn't bothering anybody."

Um, the silent class? Yeah, I think we all heard your conversation. But, the other students would never say.

Me: "You were bothering me."

"What? You aren't doing anything either."

Um, well, I guess monitoring the class is nothing...

"You're so extra..."

Uh huh. Extra. If you hadn't realized, "extra" is an insult. (Although, it could be a compliment in a different context.)

*Before I get the usual "cell phones should be banned" comments, let me explain something. I could have totally sent her out and had her phone confiscated for this. I did not because I didn't feel it was worth the trouble. True, this is why many of the students at this school have the phone issue. But then again, many of them ended up at this school due to things like their attitude, and as the phone wasn't out again, I didn't think making it more of an issue would help matters in the slightest. 

**And yes, I totally cheated for X. Don't we usually? Show of hands: How many of you (who are doing the A to Z Challenge) cheated on their X post? I so couldn't resist when being called "extra" by a student. It kind of fell into my lap.

Have you ever been called "extra"? Do you know what "extra" means, slang-wise? What was your favorite insult when you were a teen?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Whodunit?

Eighth grade English. It was the class that stole my clock. On a Friday. With an assembly scheduled.

Basically, I was doomed from the start.

I had gone over what their assignment was. They were doing the settling in thing, where they get their work out, they figure out what they need to do, and they get started. I turned away for a second (I think I was getting the roll sheet or some housekeeping thing like that), and that's when a sharp "pop" sounded.

And the class reacted to the stink bomb that someone threw.

Chaos ensued. Those closest to the offending smell fled the room. Others complained about the smell. Someone pulled out their perfume and sprayed. (It never fails. There's always someone who does this, and I always go after them as we don't know who might be allergic.)

I called security. (Well, I called the office and they called security...)

Victoria arrived. She got the class back in their seats and told them all to write down on a sheet of paper (without putting their names) what they knew of the incident.

While they were doing this, Anisha warned them not to be "snitches" and say anything.

Whether they listened to Anisha, they didn't know anything, or they just didn't want to say, it's hard to tell. But every single page had a variation of "I know nothing" on it.

Victoria pulled three students from class, one of whom was Anisha.

Upon Anisha's return, she informed the class that one of the boys who had been pulled had "taken the fall" for the incident. Apparently, he had stink bombs in his backpack. But it was clear that Anisha was telling the class it wasn't actually his fault.

I kind of wonder who the culprit is. Although, I was more concerned with getting the class back to some semblance of proper classroom behavior. This did actually occur, but only after several students who couldn't stand the smell fled.

I rather think it was one of them.

Those who remained were nose blind to the smell after a short while. And they know what's coming to them upon their teacher's return. They rather think they deserve whatever is coming.

What is your vice of choice after a particularly hard day? What is one way you tortured the substitute teachers you had in your classes? 

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Video Glitch

10th grade English. They're reading To Kill a Mockingbird. However, on this day they were doing some related studies. They were to watch a video on the Scottsboro Boys.

We were to watch about 50 minutes of the video (via YouTube), then they had some questions to answer. It was a rather standard type of lesson. And, as I do, when the video was playing, I wasn't paying close attention. (It is April. I was reading blogs...)

However, I was sort of listening. So, when the video went from being in the midst of a court trial back to the men being arrested from earlier in the doc, I knew something was wrong. The class was not happy. They were riveted, and they wanted to know more about the woman's testimony.

After some investigation, I discovered that the rest of the video was just a repeat of what they'd already seen. What to do? I called one of the other 10th grade English teachers (they work as a team), and she said it was okay to go on to the next thing as they weren't going to finish the video anyway.

The class, however, wasn't having it. They could see that there was a part 2 on the YouTube page, and they wanted me to explore it. Which they repeated while we went over the next part of the assignment. Repeatedly. (They were worse than middle schoolers.)

On the one hand, I'm glad they were so invested in the doc that they wanted to see how things turned out. But on the other hand, they weren't going to finish the video, and the next part of the assignment told them how things turned out. (Spoiler alert: not good.)

(In case you're interested, you can find the video here: Part 1; Part 2.)

It turned out that the part 2 was the rest of the video. I was curious. While they were doing the next part of the assignment, I previewed it. So, when they finished their stuff, I did play about 15 more minutes for them. (It was a long period, so we had the time.)

Of course they wanted me to play the video for longer...

At least I knew what the issue was (and how to fix it) for the next class. Of course, right at the point when it was time to change the video was when the phone rang... Naturally.

Has YouTube ever disappointed you with a video glitch? Would you have shown the rest of the video to the annoying class?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Universal Donor

At the heart of much speculative fiction (and fiction in general) is a question. What if? On Tuesdays I like to throw one out there and see what you make of it. Do with it as you please. If a for-instance is not specified, feel free to interpret that instance as you wish. And if you find this becomes a novel-length answer, I'd appreciate a thank you in the acknowledgements. 😉

What if we could gain the abilities of the donor if we were to get a blood transfusion?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Turtle Try 1

Last year on her birthday, my niece told me she likes turtles. And so when I saw this sea turtle pattern in Knitty, I thought she might enjoy one.

I sent her a message. She never replied. 

But now it was in the back of my head. And turtle starts with T. The perfect excuse. 

So, now you know what I knit last week... 

It wasn't too difficult. I already had the yarn on hand. The eyes are bigger than the pattern called for, but I couldn't find those eyes locally. (And as I did this with a deadline, I didn't have time to search them out online.) 

It's a cute little pattern, but there were a lot of little things to assemble. A second turtle would be a whole lot easier. 

Maybe. Eventually. 

Have you done anything this month you've never tried before? Do you like turtles? 

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Saddleback

Saturday afternoon. My father and I were on our weekly walk. I usually like to go someplace scenic, so this day we were out at the Back Bay in Newport Beach. (Here's another link, not Wikipedia.)

"There's Saddleback," my father said. (And another non-Wikipedia link.)

I thought, "Saddleback starts with S..."

Newport Beach Back Bay with Saddleback Mountain in the far background

Not a great shot, but it was a clear day. Click on the image to make it bigger. Saddleback Mountain is the thing in the distance.

Have you been on any nice walks lately? Where are some of the better places to hike around where you live?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Room Swap

The school day is six periods long. Most teachers have students for five of those. For their sixth period, most teachers use the time for planning and preparing.

We subs don't usually need that preparation time. (It's a nice break in the day, however.) So, when the school needs coverage, the subs are the first ones the office calls.

(There are various reasons why. Sometimes the teachers have a meeting for that one period. Sometimes the teachers need to leave early. And sometimes there aren't enough subs to cover all the absent teachers, so some teachers get "sub soup", that is they get a different sub each period.)

Frequently, I'll get to my "extra" period to find a student (or two or three...) who I had in the class I'm covering all day. This has happened frequently enough that I've come to expect it. And when a student points out that they just had me last period, I give them an evil laugh. "You can't escape me!"

Last Friday, however, I got a new version of this.

Second period the office called. My prep on this day was fifth period. Could I cover another class fifth? (The answer is always yes. I get paid extra for doing this, so the only downside is losing some lazy time.)

I wrote down the room number so I wouldn't forget and went on with the period.

I was covering a special ed class. There was an instructional aide with me. She wondered who had called. (Mostly the calls are for students to go elsewhere.)

I told her. And she replied that that was her fifth period, too. (Full time aides are sent to other classes on the teacher's prep.)

The aide was able to tell me what the lesson plans were going to be. (They were working on a research paper.) She even knew why the teacher was going to be out. I don't usually get a preview of my extra period assignment. I usually have to wing it once I get there. So, this was nice.

Too bad we had to go to another classroom. If only they could have sent the students to us 😉

Do you have a coworker that seems to go with you everywhere? Do you like your coworkers?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Quite the Handful

When I called ahead for subbing assignments, I was offered this middle school special ed math class for two days. After the time I had with sixth period, you'd probably think I'd turn it down. (There were other teachers out, so I did have options.)

But the instructional aide, Ms. S, said the rest of the day wasn't so bad, and I knew Ms. S was there the whole day. How bad could it be?

Ms. S and I arrived at the same time on Thursday morning. She clued me in to how things needed to proceed. She'd run things. She knew the kiddos. She knew the routine. I'd just have to follow her lead.

But... Oh, by the way... Ms. S had to leave early that day. You know, right before sixth period.

First through fourth periods went pretty well. They were working on solving inequalities and then graphing those answers. We had to take it slow as they were having difficulty. But that was to be expected. That's how things go in a special ed class.

I got to watch what Ms. S did all day. My job was to replicate that for sixth period. I've done that sort of thing before.

Sixth period arrived. And they were pretty much as I remembered them. (Samuel still won't sit. Ashley still won't focus. Edward had been moved, so he and Ashley didn't have issues.)

I attempted to get through the lesson. And I kind of did. It took longer than the other periods. There were all sorts of distractions (*ahem* Samuel. Ashley. *ahem*). But for the most part they let me teach. (Classes don't always. I appreciate it when I am allowed to get them through the lesson.)

So, a win. Sort of.

I was told they were the brightest group of the day. The were also the largest. Put them in sixth period, and that's why they were the most difficult.

Do you remember what classes you had at the end of the day? Were you burned out by then, or did you have a class in play mode?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Pouting

I was covering this middle school special ed math class for two days. The lovely thing about special ed classes is that they have instructional aides (IA) who are generally very helpful. On these days Ms. S was teaching the class.

Ms. S was going over something with the students when I noticed Ricardo. He had his head down on his desk. I went over to him and politely requested that he sit up and do what Ms. S was asking of the students.

Ricardo ignored me, not budging from his position. He could have been sound asleep for all the movement he made.

Again, I tried to get his attention. But Ms. S shook her head. Let him be.

A bit later, Ms. S explained the situation.

Ricardo was not well pleased to be in this math class. He had previously been in sixth period...

(I covered this sixth period once. It did not go well.)

...but because sixth period was such a handful, the teacher had managed to get a student transferred into a different period.

Ricardo had been rebelling previously. He had only just gotten to almost acceptance, Ms. S explained. But having his head on his desk was much better than what he could have been doing.

There's a reason I usually let sleeping dogs lie...

Did you ever fall asleep in class? Would you have liked to be transferred out of a wild class?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Otherwhere

At the heart of much speculative fiction (and fiction in general) is a question. What if? On Tuesdays I like to throw one out there and see what you make of it. Do with it as you please. If a for-instance is not specified, feel free to interpret that instance as you wish. And if you find this becomes a novel-length answer, I'd appreciate a thank you in the acknowledgements. 😉

What if every fictional world ever devised actually exists someplace?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Nearly Finished?

Remember this scarf?

That was as of March 5th. Today, it's still going...

The yarn ball is smaller. The scarf is bigger. But it still feels like I'm so far from finishing.

This is what happens when one knits a fingering weight on size 3 needles. (Read: very thin yarn and very small needles.)

Although, to be fair, it's not the only thing I've been working on. I pulled out a Bullseye Beanie for B (and because I needed to restock--for the record: that beanie is finished) and I spent a week knitting a hedgehog for H (also finished).

Still, it seems like this scarf isn't going anywhere. But, I weighed the yarn, and I've got about two more pattern repeats before I'm out. I can get that finished this week. Maybe? Which makes me nearly finished. Right?

Then I've got two more scarves of a similar design to go...

Then again, maybe I'll set this aside and find something to knit that goes along with T.

Do you have any ongoing projects nearing completion? Have you pushed anything to the side to complete the A to Z Challenge?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Mud Hen

I am told this is a mud hen or an American coot. A flock (or whatever you call a group of these) appeared a few months ago. They've been relatively unobtrusive neighbors.

Do you have a lot of different birds in your neck of the woods?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Listening Skills

Eighth grade science. They were to watch a video on genetics and answer questions on a handout. (Here's the video if you're interested.)

Showing videos is one of the basic skills any sub needs. I know all the tricks from "press play" to how to set up the computer to hook up to the projector so everyone can watch. I've even figured out how to troubleshoot most of the audio problems that might crop up.

But this day we were doing things very differently.

Each student was assigned an in-class Chromebook. (This is a laptop computer with limited memory but easy connection to the school's wi-fi network.) They were to retrieve their computer, search for the video, and then watch it on their computer on their own.

This is actually kind of a great way to do a video. If they miss something, they can back it up. They listen to it on headphones, so they're locked into their own little world. And I don't have to watch the thing (especially over and over and over again), although I heard bits of it, kind of like a group singing in the round...

The students got their computers. I passed out the questions. I walked around to make sure they all found the correct video. Just as I settled in while they were working, a student raised his hand.

"Can I listen to music?"

Ummm...

I get this question a lot. And the answer is usually yes. When they're doing independent work, it helps some of them focus.

But they were watching a video. With narration. And people explaining things to the camera. They were supposed to listen to it so they could answer the questions.

I was so taken aback by the question that I sputterd a bit. The boy helpfully offered that his teacher sometimes lets them.

I asked how he could listen to music and watch the video. He didn't understand my question.

Flummoxed, I figured trying to explain why the music was a bad idea was just going to go over his head. So, instead I gave him a straight no.

Unless he has some mad listening skills and can listen to music and a video at the same time...

Nah. I'm clearly putting more thought into this than he did.

Did you know Bill Nye did other shows besides his Science Guy stuff? Can you listen to music and watch a show at the same time (and understand both)? Do you listen to music to help you focus?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Klepto Kid

Eighth grade U.S. history. The advanced class. So, that meant no "issues" right?

Snort.

Fifth period walked in. I gave my usual intro, looking back to the board to point out where I had posted my name for their reference. That's when I noticed the projector was on.

I was not using the projector.

So, a kiddo decided it would be funny to turn the projector on. *big shrug* I went to grab the remote to turn the projector off...

The remote was missing.

(It seems like this year's eighth graders might be a bunch of kleptos.)

I asked nicely for the remote to be returned. They questioned if I was sure the remote had been taken rather than, say, I had misplaced it.

Ahem. I hadn't been using it. It was sitting, minding its own business, on the front table. They sure know how to shift blame...

So, it came time for me to demand the return of school property. (At least this time they weren't offended by my accusations.)

Naturally, no one fessed up. So, it was time to explain what was going to happen if I did not get the remote back. (This explanation comes from experience. It ends with an assistant principal coming to class to search everyone's belongings.)

Less than five minutes later, a student "found" the remote on the floor behind his desk.

Remote returned. All was well.

The culprit? Likely the boy that "found" it.

But honestly, I don't care. If the teacher wants to chase that down, I left her all the particulars, including how that boy had been near the remote at the time it went missing.

My lesson: keep a better eye on random stuff as the kiddos have been walking away with it. Especially eighth graders.

What is something you lose frequently? Do you manage to find it?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Just a Phone Call

You know what it's like to listen to someone on a phone call? They talk. Then they pause. Then they talk again. You know you're hearing half the conversation. There are cadences to the speech. You can hear a different timbre to their voice.

You don't need to see the phone. You just kind of know by listening.

"I'm not on my phone. I'm talking to him."

Leah indicated her neighbor. This boy hadn't said a word. While Leah was clearly holding half a conversation with somebody.

I wasn't in the mood to argue. As I walked away, Leah said, "I told her I was working..." She related to her friend on the phone what had just interrupted their conversation.

It must be a generational thing. More than once I have tried to explain that they should not hold conversations on their phones in class. They always look at me like I'm being totally unreasonable.

Where's the weirdest place you've ever taken a phone call? What is something that other generations don't get about yours?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

In-Service

At the heart of much speculative fiction (and fiction in general) is a question. What if? On Tuesdays I like to throw one out there and see what you make of it. Do with it as you please. If a for-instance is not specified, feel free to interpret that instance as you wish. And if you find this becomes a novel-length answer, I'd appreciate a thank you in the acknowledgements. 😉

What if our lives here are a training for a celestial promotion?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Hedgehog

While planning posts for this week, I hit a snag. What knit project did I have that I could make work for H? Nothing came to mind.

Then I had the thought. Hedgehog.

This has been a project that's been on my mind for a while. But I never had any good reason to drop everything and knit one. Until now.

It's quick enough that I finished it in less than a week...

I used the pattern from the Purl Soho blog. There are quite a few different patterns out there, but this one grabbed my attention. It was easy to follow.

I used an eyelash yarn for the body, giving it that furry look. The pattern that originally got my attention did this, but that pattern could only be purchased in a booklet. Not a PDF. Which I would have had to order and wait for. Which would have been fine if I hadn't decided to do this with a week to get it done in.

Yeah, I really planned this post out 😉

I think I need to redo the face, though.

You can barely see the eyes under the ears. I'll think about it.

It turned out to be easier to knit than I planned. I may have to make these available for sale. (I have to check and see what the pattern writer said, though. Sometimes they ask not to use their patterns to make finished products for sale.)

Did you finish any blog posts just under the wire? Did you ever change your plans at the last minute?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Goose Chase

Some geese live nearby.

I was out walking a dog. (Not my dog. Long story.) Buttercup (the dog) had a run-in with the geese last year. (She barked at them and chased them. They fought back. She now avoids them.) A goose was in our path, so Buttercup turned tail and went the other way.

As we went the long way round, it occurred to me that goose starts with G. (Obvious, I know.) I had just spent three days trying to figure out what I would photograph for today's post.

I dropped off Buttercup and grabbed my phone. But, of course, the goose was no longer in the path. I kind of had to chase it to get these shots. However, G is now done...

Have you had to "chase down" any letters?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...