Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Preventing the Fight

It's time for the First Campaigner Challenge. Here's my entry (inspired by a true story): 

The door swung open, and Crystal continued on out that door as if that’s what she had intended all along. Jean from school security gave Ana a look.

“You too.”

As Ana left the room, Gus turned on me.

“Why did you have to go and call security? We wanted to see the fight.”

Knowing this was an argument I couldn’t win, I instead told Gus to sit down and get back to his assignment.

None of the students wanted to work any longer. I heard all sorts of commentary.

“She shouldn’t have said what she said.”

“I wouldn’t have put up with that.”

“Why’d she even come to school today?”

I reminded the students that they did have work to do, but since I was the substitute, they weren’t having any of it. Then the door opened again, and the class went silent.

“Where is Crystal’s stuff?” Jean asked.

Crystal’s neighbors picked up her backpack and took it to Jean. Jean gave them all a look that said that she didn’t want to hear from this class again. The students acted like they had been working the whole time.

Jean and I exchanged looks. Then the door swung shut.

I'm #277 in the linky list in case you'd like to "like" this entry.

6 comments:

  1. Well done. At the beginning I was a little confused as to who Ana was but the rest flowed very well.

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  2. Great dialogue! Love stories that gives people plenty to say. Well done, Liz! :)

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  3. I think it would have been cool if one of the dialogue lines had been "Where's Crystal's meth?"

    Get it?

    har har.

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  4. Good job with your flash piece. It's so tough writing such a short story.

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  5. Interesting. Definitely curious as to what the fight was about.

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  6. I'm intrigued as to what the fight was all about. There's definitely a lot of tension in the room!

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