Wednesday, August 21, 2019

How Not to Talk Me Out of It

The other day as I was clearing out some old papers, I found some blog posts that I'd never posted. I wrote them down with the intent of putting them on the blog, but then... I suppose something more interesting happened that week. That's my only guess.

"But if I get another referral, I'll be kicked out of school."

He should have thought of that when he refused to step outside and stay outside when I told him to.

"If I get another referral, I'm going to be sent to my dad in Texas. I don't want to live with my dad. He drinks."

And yet, when I asked him to stop talking so I could go over the day's assignment, he couldn't manage it.

"I can't get another referral. Could you make this a warning?"

And what were those three other instructions? The "stop talking"? The "step outside"? The "go back where I told you to go"? And what about continuing ot talk after I said he'd get a referral for disobeying me? No contrition until the paperwork came out.

I pulled out the form. He snatched it off the desk and walked away with it. Luckily, I had a second form.

Then he started random attacks. Something about a restroom pass. How I "wasn't being fair" and was "going to get reported" for something or other.

Yeah, I know this one. He's trying to make me feel bad or worried or something. The big secret is, I hate writing referrals. I hate this sort of confrontation, this sort of drama.

I already am second guessing myself. Was I clear enough? Am I being unreasonable?

This sort of behavior? It reinforces that I'm doing the right thing. And I'll be so much happier when he's out of class.


  1. I agree; that's the type of kid that needs to learn from consequences that happen because of his inability to follow directions the first time they are told. Ever see him again in any of your classes or does a referral mean an expulsion and then continuation school or in his case possible move to Texas.


  2. Do you have teacher-death-ray eyes? Give him those along with the referral.

  3. It's funny how consequences don't seem real to some kids. The big picture "I don't want to live with Dad" is obviously clear to this kid, but the actions to avoid the consequence don't seem to link.

    I'm not sure what a referral is? Trying to think what it might equate to in our system but I don't know that we have one.

  4. I always thought a referral was a good thing. I must be missing something.

  5. Basic rule of crime and punishment. Actions have consequences. Maybe someday the lesson will sink in.

    1. Hopefully it did. I don't even remember who this kid was, so clearly he didn't make an impression after this.

  6. Ugh. I would not want to deal with him either.


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