Zonked

Some days...

I'm leaning all the way back in the chair. My head resting on the wall behind me. "Dead Man's Party" plays on the radio.

The class is on task.

It's an honors algebra 2 class. Their assignment is on the distance formula. I walked the room. They're all making good progress.

I've had a whole day of this. I'm zonked.

I mean, it's a good thing. I have a lot of days like this. Easy days. Days where my biggest challenge is staying awake. Days where I hover, hoping someone needs a little help...

No?

Ah well. I'll enjoy the peace. While I have it...

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Can you believe the A to Z Challenge is over? Did you make it through? Are you zonked too?

Your Own Work

"What did you get for B?"

"What did you get for C?"

"For D?"

They were doing a worksheet on the skeleton. Each letter pointed at a different bone. Instead of looking it up in his book, Alejandro asked classmates for answers.

Well, that's one way to do it. I guess...

Alejandro's desk was empty of all but the worksheet. No book. No notes.

I quickly put a stop to his trolling for answers. Many of the students did not reply, but a few did. I mean, it's one thing to ask a classmate to help out when you're stuck, but quite another if you're not even trying.

*shakes head*

(Of course, this turned out to be the least of my issues with Alejandro that period...)

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Does this story worry you about today's youth? (Alejandro is in the minority. Most students diligently complete assignments.) Did you ever try to get your fellow students to do your work for you?

X Marks the Scarf

I wasn't sure if I was going to do the A to Z Challenge this year. I've had a lot of things on my plate this month (not just knitting), and I wasn't sure if I was going to have the time. But then there was X...

At the end of last year's challenge, I realized that this year X would fall on a Monday. The day I post about my knitting. And I thought it would be cool to design a knit project for X.

Early on I came up with the scarf idea. Over the next eight months, I contemplated this X scarf idea. The idea morphed into...

This would be a very long post indeed if I went through the whole design thought process for this. 

Are you wondering? How does this have anything to do with X? It's not just the name...

Yep, I made an X-shaped scarf. Or maybe it's a cowl. It might be too long to be considered a cowl, so I guess it's more of an infinity scarf. An X-shaped infinity scarf.

I couldn't not post it. So, this is the whole reason I finally did sign up for the A to Z this year.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Do you think I'm crazy to have signed up for A to Z only for X? Why did you sign up to do the A to Z? How have you handled X?

Water Bottle Cozies

I think the next iteration of this design idea is going to be a critter. That might be cool. I'm going to have to contemplate how I'll make that work. Until then, the previous iterations of the idea...

(These are in my shop, actually. And the patterns are also available (the mesh one and the scaly one). In case you were wondering...)

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

What critter should I try? Do you carry a water bottle around with you?

Vague Competition

"Did you sub for Ms. F?"

Not in the last couple months. I wracked my brain. I couldn't remember if I had subbed for her this school year. Of course, when a student asks me that, he's really just trying to place me. Where has he seen me before? That's when we start going through who his teachers are.

"I'm around all the time," I said. "I'm sure I covered one of your classes."

Another student piped up: "She doesn't remember you."

What was I supposed to remember?

"Remember that time that you passed out that assignment and told us how to complete it and then told us it was due at the end of the period?"

Um...

"Remember that time that you had us all pass up our work, and you told me to make sure my name was on my paper?"

Well...

"Remember that one time when you called roll and mispronounced that one girl's name?"

Oh, I get it.

"You're having a vague competition."

They confirmed. Clever.

And perfect timing. I was wondering what I was going to post for V...

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Would you believe me if I told you that this took place in a special ed classroom? How are you doing with these later letters of the alphabet?

Universal Equation

It's Thursday, so it's time for my weekly random question...

I had Through the Wormhole on in the background again. This was the dark matter episode (I think this was the one), and one of the scientists was talking about finding the one equation that mathematically explains the universe. But, as usual, my mind wandered...

What if the whole point of our existence is to figure out the universe? What happens when someone finally finds the equation that explains it all?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Tissue Issue

The lesson plan stated that the tissues had been removed from the room because the students had lost nose blowing privileges. Uh oh.

8th graders can be difficult. They will get up repeatedly to sharpen their pencils, throw away trash, or get tissue. They'll make up excuses to walk across the room--they need to discuss an assignment with a classmate or they need a pencil or they need paper. Sometimes I have to resort to draconian measures to get them to stay in their seats.

I thought it was only me.

(I've had days where the tissue runs out. Early. Because the students get multiple tissues throughout the period.)

Of course, a few students in first period started looking for the tissue early on. I mentioned that the tissues had been removed, and that's when they recalled that their teacher had told them this.

"You know, you can buy those little packs of tissues to carry in your backpacks for when you're in this class," I told them.

"But why buy tissue when you can get it in class for free?" a student asked me.

Later that day, I had to remove the pencil sharpener. Well, if there's no tissue, the students need some excuse to get up...

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Did your teachers have tissue in your classrooms? What excuses did you use to get out of your seat?

Suspended for Cell Phone

I met Beatriz at the beginning of the school year in this same class. She took an instant dislike to me. (That's putting it mildly. She developed a deep-seated hatred of me on sight.) So, when she saw that I was her sub for the day, she was not pleased. She had some not nice things to say about me which she said outside the door to the class before class started.

Of course, I could hear everything.

Beatriz started off challenging me right away. And as I was only going to be there for two days, I wasn't planning on getting into it with her. If she wasn't going to do any work, it was her grade. I heard her say something about the continuation high school, and I laughed to myself. If she's really going there soon, she's going to be seeing a lot more of me.

But this is just the set-up.

Beatriz and her friends thought it would be funny to play their music on their cell phones. Or maybe they weren't thinking. I gave them the usual warning (that is, I told them to put them away or I would take them away). They put the phones away.

And I knew immediately that I had been too lenient. The rest of the class let me know. They didn't say anything, but their manner told me loads.

Oops.

But there was no help for it now. I couldn't very well go and take Beatriz's cell phone from her when it was where it was supposed to be--away in her pocket or her backpack. (I don't know where it was. I didn't see it.)

I got busy helping another student.

I turned to go back to the front of the room. I glanced Beatriz's way and saw sitting on her desk--her cell phone. Now I had cause. I held out my hand.

"You're not taking my cell phone."

She had been warned. In fact, I don't have to warn her. School policy states that a seen or heard cell phone can be confiscated. So, I was well within my rights...

She wouldn't give it to me. So, fine. She gets a referral. (She refused to follow my instructions.)

This is already getting long, so I won't go into the argument she gave me over that referral. Eventually she left. After school I checked. She never made it to the office.

Okay, fine. Now she gets a referral for not only not giving up her cell phone but also for not going to the discipline office.

At the end of the next day I checked in with the discipline office. Curiosity. Did they talk to Beatriz? Turns out, Beatriz ended up suspended from school. Over a cell phone.

(The punishment for having a cell phone out: cell phone gets confiscated. A parent can pick up the cell phone after school the same day. End of punishment. And considering this all happened 6th period, Beatriz would have lost her cell phone for maybe a half hour.)

I am not looking forward to seeing her again. Although, the look on her face when she finds out I'm at the continuation high school all the time... Might be worth it.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Have you ever hated someone on sight? Have you ever taken something so minor to such an extreme?

Rose Ring

Here's another letter that sort of stumped me. My knitting projects don't really lend themselves to R very well. So, it was time to find something that would fit the bill.

I searched Ravelry. I had it in the back of my head that I could knit a rose. Somehow. In the end, I found a crochet pattern instead. (Link to the Crochet Rose Ring Tutorial.)

I rather like the way it turned out. However, I was not able to find the ring back that would actually make this a ring, so it's more of a rose embellishment in search of a home. For now. (The tutorial suggested that it might go well on a hair tie. Maybe.)

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

What should I put this rose on? If you crochet, are you tempted to make one? (This took about an hour to complete.) Are you on Ravelry? (If you are, you can friend me. I'm ZiziRho.)

Quartz

I was worried about Q. Last year Q fell on a Friday, so it was easy enough to deal with. But this year it falls on a Saturday, and Saturday is my photo day. What can I get a picture of that starts with a Q?

Time to pull out a dictionary...

And that's when I saw "quartz". Oh, cool. That's easy...

(I love what the photo editing software did with the lighting on this one.)

Bonus photo: black amethyst (which I believe is quartz as well)...

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Did you have any trouble coming up with a Q topic? Isn't that black amethyst cool?

Paper, Please

It was the last day before spring break. The class was to write the final draft of an essay on the Holocaust. The students were to "use paper provided" and write only on the front of the sheet.

Okay. I passed out the paper. Gave the instructions. Suffered through their grumbles. No worries, right?

Except I saw the problem right at the top of first period. There was no way I had enough paper for every period.

First period used about a third of the stack that the teacher left me. Second period more than halved what was left. I ran out just as I passed out the remaining sheets in third period.

I follow lesson plans. This one said, "Don't let them use their own paper." (Emphasis was hers.) But I only carry enough paper with me for my use (like writing notes to the teacher).

This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened to me.

Dear Teachers,

When you leave paper (or worksheets) for your students to use in your absence, please leave more than you think they'll need. The sub (me) does not have access to where one can get more of anything. Thanks for your help.

Sincerely, Your Sub

I hate not being able to follow the lesson plan to the letter.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Do you think the teacher will be mad at me? (I swear, I wasn't wasting paper. The class was working on their essays diligently. Not a paper airplane or crumpled page in sight.) What would you have done in my situation?

Only One

It's Thursday, so it's time for my weekly random question...

I have the sneaking suspicion I have done this one before as well. But it was in my cache of future posts, so maybe not. Maybe I just think I did it. Anyway...

What if you were the only sentient being in existence, and everything you see around you was a projection meant to keep you sane? That is, what if our world and everyone in it is some sort of computer simulation (for want of a better description) made just to fool you into believing you're not the only real being?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Nook Knits

I got a nook rather than a Kindle.

(I know, stupid me. But I like my nook. And I've always been a bit weird.)

I love having an ereader. I read all the time. When I first got it, I contemplated buying it a cover. Then I realized that I could just knit one.

First, I made it a "cozy"...

The thing about the nook is that it's a pretty standard size. Most of the mini-tablets and the tablet-type Kindles are about the same size (about 5 inches by 8 inches). So, I then made some for Zizi Rho Designs. Then I published the pattern so knitters could make their own.

But I didn't stop there. Next, I made a pillow to prop the thing up...

And when I posted this picture on Ravelry, the response was so positive I decided to post the pattern as well.

But that pillow was always just the rough draft. I spent some time last year working on a better version, taking the lessons from the first one, and I made...

As I worked on this pattern, I realized that people have full size tablets and smartphones that could use the same treatment, so I sized the pattern up and down...

(All three sizes are included in the new pattern.)

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

I don't have the pillow props made for my shop. I don't think there's really a market for them. What do you think? Should I include them in my shop? Or do you think that those who want one would rather knit it themselves?

Mutiny

"Wait! Let's not go in until after the bell."

It was the passing period before 6th period. They were gathered outside the door. I could hear snippets of their conversation, and that statement came through loud and clear.

My thought: What is this, a mutiny?

It was a pretty childish stance, but then again, so was the class. Petty and childish, I mean. If they wanted to play it that way...

I hurriedly marked all the empty seats on the seating chart. After the bell rang they all rushed into class.

So, I marked them all tardy.

I'm not sure what they were trying to gain with this. They still attended class. They still had to do the assignment. And now every one of their names was listed for this silly stunt.

Freshmen. Sigh.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Do you have any idea what they were trying to accomplish? Because I'm totally flummoxed.

Lies

Last week was kind of light. I had one day where the students worked quietly all period every period. (It was kind of weird.) I had a second day where there was major drama, but it wasn't happening in class, so I didn't get enough of the story to work it into a blog post. And another day... Well, it came with a M theme, so I'll talk about that tomorrow.

But that leaves me with nothing for today. If this wasn't April, I'd just skip posting altogether. But it is April, and rather than fail the challenge, I'm going to list some of the most frequent lies students tell me.

• But my teacher lets me...
• Eat in class.
• Use my cell phone.
• Listen to music.
• My teacher moved me here yesterday. Really, this is my assigned seat. Ignore what the newly written seating chart says.
• I have an A in this class.
• I'm getting straight As. (The students who are don't usually feel the need to brag about it.)
• He's my brother/cousin.
• She's my sister/cousin.
• I have to tell/ask him/her something about another class/project.

Then there are the classwork excuses. They have an assignment. They aren't doing it. I remind them that getting it done in class means they don't have to do it later, like at home. But they aren't having that...

• But I like homework.
• I don't get enough homework. (I actually left that in a note once for the teacher telling her which student told me this. I ran into the student later. He didn't like the consequences.)
• My parent(s) won't believe me if I tell him/her/them I don't have homework. (At which point I offer to write a note to this parent stating that the student finished the assignment in class. I have never been taken up on this offer.)
• I'll finish it at home.
• It's at home, finished. I'll bring it tomorrow.
• I'm grounded/the TV's broken/my device was taken away, so I'll be bored at home. I need something to do.

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard one of these, I would never need to work again.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

What lies did you tell your teachers? The subs? Did they believe you?

Knitting on my Plate

I have this large decorative plate that I keep all my current knitting projects on...

My knitting plate

If we start at the "top" with the bright blue and red, that's an archery target hat in progress. The black ball of yarn just to its right is for the lacy fingerless gloves, a pair I'm doing in black.

The big bit near the "bottom" is going to be a surprise (it's for X). The beige next to it is that cardigan I started ages back. I haven't touched it in weeks.

That final ball of black goes to the archery target hat. It's the next color.

I like to have a few projects going. That way I can switch them up.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

What's on your "plate" (knitting or otherwise)?

Just One of Those Days

It was kind of a rough day. A girl complained to me that the room was too loud and she had trouble concentrating. I could see why...

• One boy sat at an empty desk. He informed me he had no paper. His neighbors managed to find him a sheet. Then he told me he had no pencil.
• Another boy (when I approached and asked why he was doing no work) argued that writing was outdated. He should be allowed to do his assignment (in algebra 1) via technology. I agreed that would be best, then I pointed out that until everyone in class had an iPad, they were going to have to continue to use pencil and paper.
• Two boys (on the other side of the classroom) tried to convince me that they were the smartest students in the class. Even though they were doing no work. And another student informed me that not only did they never do any work, they never even bothered to take notes. 
• Then in the middle of the room two boys and a girl put their heads together to take a selfie. When I approached the boy who had put the cell phone in his pocket, he acted like he'd never heard the term.
• Another boy tried to jump over his own leg. And argued with me when I told him not to. (He didn't make the attempt.)
• Then a girl and boy stepped outside the classroom. The girl needed to "fix her hair". (Outside? In the wind?) The boy needed "fresh air". They argued about returning inside.
• Finally, a boy "tooted" loudly enough for everyone around him to hear. So, all the students in the vicinity fled. Scattering across the room and a couple even went outside.

Of the 24 students in the class, only four were making progress on the assignment. The rest made excuses.

Freshmen. Sigh.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Wouldn't math class have been more fun if you could have turned in your assignments via iPad? What excuses did you use to not do your math homework?

Intelligent Life?

It's Thursday, so it's time for my weekly random question...

Actually, I think I may have done this one before. But it's going to take too long to search the archives to make sure. I'm sure it's been a while. And it works for I...

What if we are the most intelligent life in the universe?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Handbags of Many Colors

Since it's H day and a Wednesday, and I'm sure you're tired of all my subbing misadventures, I thought I'd post some pretty pictures. At least, I hope the pictures are pretty. If not, I need to take them over...

This is my everyday kick around purse. I've had it more than a year now, so it's about time for me to make a new one.

My ORANGE purse. Bigger than the first one, but I rarely use it.

I made this one for my shop, but it's not listed at the moment. I think it needs some new pictures.

This one actually has a zipper in the top. I'm not pleased with how this one turned out.

This one also has a zipper. I use this one when I need a larger purse.

These are up for sale in my shop. Links to: the orange one and the purple one.

I just need to line this and add the strap (which is made) and then I can list it.

I don't mention my Etsy shop all that often on the blog. Just occasionally. So, reminder: I have a little shop called Zizi Rho Designs where I sell my wares, including some of my patterns. (There's also a link to it on the sidebar as well as a way to "like" me on Facebook.)

(Oh, and if you're here via the A to Z Challenge and you need a post for the 30th, let me know...)

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Do you knit or crochet? Do any other crafty-type stuff? What was your favorite project?

Guess My Musical Instrument

"You look like you play the oboe."

That's what got my attention. The boy to whom the comment was directed looked confused.

"Elbow?"

What does an oboe player look like? I challenged the boy who made the initial comment. He hemmed and hawed. I asked him if I looked like an oboe player. He said I didn't.

Funny. I guess that decade I spent in various school bands was all my imagination, then. (Although, I was never very good...)

I informed the boy that one couldn't tell what instrument one played just by looking at them.

"What instrument does he play?" he asked, pointing at the boy seated next to him.

Didn't I just say...

Fine. I needed to narrow it down a bit. Woodwind or brass? I was told woodwind.

I looked at the boy in question. How was I supposed to know what he played? I threw out saxophone followed by my second guess of bass clarinet.

His eyes went wide. He was an alto sax player.

"What instrument does she play?"

After being told woodwind, I thought flute. But that's way too obvious. So, I said clarinet. But...flute.

You'd think they'd be done, right? But no. It seemed like half the geometry class was in the band. And I was directed to another student. Boy. Woodwind.

"Clarinet?"

Bullseye. Next, a girl. Brass.

"French horn?"

(French horn players... Well, she just seemed like... But I can't tell what instrument just by looking!)

Finally, the boy who started all this told me to guess him. Brass. Well, I knew he had to be low brass, so I went with the obvious.

"Trombone?"

They now thought I was a witch. The clarinet player was very impressed. I don't know why. Perhaps if I had gotten 100%, but I didn't. Not really.

I guess my time in various bands (in junior high, high school, and college) paid off. Somewhat.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Did you play in your high school band? What instrument? If you could play a musical instrument, which one would you choose?

Friday's Earthquake

...was the topic of conversation on Monday.

(I don't know if you heard. We had an earthquake around these parts on Friday, March 28th. Nothing like the one in Chile, of course.)

By Monday, I had just about forgotten about it. (Don't get me wrong. It was a good sized one. And it went on for a long time. But by Monday other things were on my mind.) So much so that it took me a good two minutes to realize that the shattered picture on the floor of the science classroom was earthquake damage.

And then I put it out of my mind again.

"We had three earthquakes in the last twenty minutes."

Said a girl as she walked in for third period. (Sure, we have earthquakes all the time. Just not ones that anyone feels.) Another girl followed this first girl in the room, and they compared earthquake apps on their phones.

The first girl was skittish. She said she didn't like earthquakes and the one Friday night made her cry. Her father found the app for her. Although, I don't know how that was supposed to make her feel better.

Students were everywhere when the quake hit. One said he and his girlfriend were on his computer watching a movie (and he let her exit the room first). One girl was already in bed (which her classmates called boring, but they seemed to have expected it of her). One boy admitted to being on the toilet (which apparently his mother found hilarious).

Then there was the conversation about "The Big One". And they reviewed what they had learned about earthquakes in their Earth Science class (two to three years ago for them as they were all juniors and seniors).

With all the earthquake talk, someone had to make a silly comment.

"What's an earthquake?"

A girl turned towards the boy and offered this reply: "It's when a woman is born with an extra eye."

That got laughter. The girl explained that when someone asks a stupid question, she gives the most ridiculous response she can think of. I think that qualifies.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Have you ever been in an earthquake? What's your best earthquake story? Or, which danger would you prefer: earthquakes or tornadoes? 

Empty Classroom

This is the classroom from Tuesday's post:

...without students.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Is this how you pictured the room from Tuesday's post? Is this how you pictured the classrooms I sub in normally? How does this compare to classrooms you've been in?

Doing Battle

7th grade world history. They had a test...

There's something about having a sub in the room that makes your normal student a bit crazy. Add in a test, and it can be bedlam.

I knew the group was going to be difficult. So, I started off by warning them that there would be no talking. And if any of them did talk, I would take their test from them and give them a zero.

(I choose to believe that when the teacher returns, she gives them back their tests and lets them finish.)

They needed a couple warnings and several shushings, but eventually they settled into silence. And then one boy just had to ask a question. A question that had been answered already. And he asked it at maximum volume. For the whole class to hear.

(As opposed to raising his hand, waiting for me to approach, and then asking the question just to me in a soft voice.)

I try to be nice. I try to be accommodating. But there's a point when a student is just trying to stir things up.

And it was clear that this class needed an example...

"You're writing me up for asking a question?"

Again, at maximum volume, in a quiet classroom, while the rest of the class was attempting to take their test. But such subtleties were lost on him.

I hoped the object lesson would be enough. But no. Then two boys just had to whisper something to one another...

In the end, I took away four tests, wrote up the one student, and wrote down several other names.

Some classes should not take tests when they have a sub. Grrr.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Did you ever take a test with a sub, or did your teachers postpone tests when there was a sub?

Car-Less

It's Thursday, so it's time for my weekly random question...

I was out driving someplace, sitting at a red light, waiting for the left arrow to turn green. And this thought just popped into my head...

What if cars had never become popular?

That is to say:

What if when automobiles were invented, people looked upon them with mild disdain, and rather than adopting the technology, it fell into disrepute? What if we had no cars on our roads today because of this?

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Big Fat Lie

The class was to watch The Odyssey. One instruction stood out:

Instruct the students to remove all backpacks and bags from their laps and desks. Too much temptation to eat in class or use cell phones.

Easy enough.

I did my usual intro, explained what they were doing, and I passed out their questions. (They had a list of questions to answer that went along with what they were watching.) That's when I caught the boy with a Hot Cheeto in his hand.

"Put away the food."

The boy: "But she lets us eat in class."

Oh really? Seems to me that note in the lesson plan says otherwise. I said as much to the student.

Busted.

He put away the food without further incident. Freshmen, sigh.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Did your teachers let you eat in class? Ever try to sneak a bite in?

Oh, and one last thing... The blog I captain for my Etsy team is doing a B theme today as well. I'd love it if you'd stop by and check it out. It's heavy on images and light on text.

Admitting the Ploy

Campus security walked into the classroom. He had a stack of Saturday School slips.

Saturday School is a 4-hour Saturday detention. Various infractions merit this punishment such as unexcused absences, missing previous detentions, and the usual things teens get punished for.

Security called up various students. As he did that, Aaron got my attention. He mouthed, "I'm not here." So, naturally, when security called his name, I pointed him out.

Reluctantly, Aaron came up to retrieve his slip. On the way back to his desk, he threw the slip in the trash.

Yeah, I've never seen that one before (insert sarcasm font here).

After security left (after distributing five slips), Aaron explained just how he was going to get out of going to Saturday School. When he got the slip, he was directed to a list which he was to sign to acknowledge receipt of the slip. He didn't sign.

His reasoning: no one can prove he got the slip.

Which might be true. Except we saw him get the slip. And he just admitted to the adult in the room what he had done.

Aaron's not as smart as he thinks he is. If he'd said nothing, I'd have thought nothing of it. (The slip in the trash means nothing. Most of the students know when and where to report.) But by admitting this, I know that I should at least mention this in the note to his teacher.

I don't know what he gets out of this little deception, anyway. He's eventually going to have to serve the detention. If he doesn't, the punishments get harsher.

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...

Do you think he got away with it? Did you ever try to get out of a detention?