Oh, how I hate assemblies. I thought I might get out of this one, but alas, I had to go. It wasn't as bad as some of them--they had a "motivational speaker" who called himself a mentalist--but it was 7th graders only, so I spent most of my time staring down students who were misbehaving.
I wasn't the only one. All the teachers in the gym were busy moving students who would not calm down.
The speaker called for volunteers. In his final bit, he blindfolded a student, blindfolded himself, and then did a card trick. He pulled out a machete and he was going to pick a card out of the air, but the student threw the cards too soon, so when the guy stabbed, he was only stabbing air.
It was pretty funny and probably planned.
I was a bit surprised when that volunteer was in my 5th period class. (I shouldn't have been as the 7th grade isn't that vast.) I had bigger issues to deal with, so I didn't mention that I recognized the boy from the assembly. He brought it up.
The boy told me that he almost got stabbed. I told the boy I was there, and the machete was nowhere near his vicinity at any time. The boy didn't believe me. He claimed that his volunteering was dangerous.
The conversation then turned to an orange. The picked card ended up in an orange that the speaker cut open with that machete. They tried to figure out how the card got in there. He must have inserted the card at some point. But the boy could attest that he had examined the orange and no card marks were on the outside.
Then they all wanted to know: what happened to the orange? They each wanted to eat the orange. The boy asked the speaker if he could have it. And when everyone found out that the orange did not get eaten by anyone, all considered that a huge waste.
7th graders. They go off on the weirdest tangents.