Friday, September 16, 2022

The Mommy Option

(This is a continuation from yesterday's post.)

Mrs. D got back to me right away (relatively). India is 12 and a half hours ahead of us in California, so her email reply sent at 10 PM my time is quick. 

Mrs. D's suggestion: email Colton's mother.

Okay, then.

I took some time composing the email. Mrs. D suggested forwarding what I had sent to her, but I thought it would be better to just state the facts for Colton's mom. Where I told Mrs. D I didn't know what to do, I asked Colton's mom if she could assist me. 

I sent off the email at 11:13 AM. I got a response at 11:35 AM. 

Colton's mom? Not happy at all.

She forwarded the email to Colton's football coach and also the school's athletic director (who is also a teacher who I have subbed for a few times in the past). The game they had that night Colton would not be playing in. 

The email was sent during fourth period. At the passing into sixth period, Colton appeared at my door. He needed to speak to me. 

"Did you email my mom?"

He prefaced his discussion with, "You're just mad I outsmarted you," and then insisted that my yelling at him was the worse offense. He insisted I needed to tell his mom that I yelled. I figured it was implied, and he was welcome to share his side of the sandwich incident with his mother. 

Sixth period had started, so we eventually ended the conversation, Colton not getting what he wanted. 

I let his mother know he had been by to discuss the situation with me and he'd be telling her his side. Her reply: "Fine. He doesn't get to play in next week's game, either."

So, it was with some trepidation that I went into Friday. But I didn't have to see Colton until fifth period, and Colton's mom had given me her phone number, so if things got ugly, I'd call her with Colton there. 

And then Colton was waiting for me before third period... 

...to apologize. 

Colton had talked to his mother and gotten an "attitude adjustment". He now realized that the consequence he received was due to his actions. He had been hangry (which, considering how long it is from snack to lunch, I completely understand), and he had been out of line.

I appreciated how he came to me not on class time, and he seemed sincerely sorry. 

And so, it's over. 

Colton behaved... well, he's still Colton. But he wasn't directly challenging me on anything during class time, so we're cool. 

Perhaps he'll learn not to react when he first gets bad news. (He must have just heard about the email right when he came to see me the first time.) 

And I need to remember the mommy option when things go sideways with a student. 

30 comments:

  1. That's wonderful that his mom got involved in a good way.

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    1. She had reached out to Mrs. D at that start of the school year to say she supported teachers. So, it was a good bet that she'd back up the class rules.

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  2. Nice that a mom is enforcing consequences. He definitely needed an attitude adjustment.

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  3. That is AWESOME that the parent is backing you up! I hear horror stories of parents who don't take any responsibility for their kids. (Incidentally, that's worldwide.)

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    1. The mom had sent Mrs. D an email at the beginning of the year saying that she expected Colton to do his work and behave in class. So, her finding out that wasn't happening...

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  4. I am glad that his mom is backing you up.
    Colton definitely needed an attitude adjustment.

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  5. Attitude adjustment was surely required here.
    Beauty and Fashion/Glamansion/Rampdiary

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  6. Well done Mom, too often parents pit themselves against the schools, teachers etc and try to be the best friend to their kid instead of being their parent.

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    1. Yeah, and when that happens, everyone loses. Not all parents are this supportive, so it's nice when one is.

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  7. Real learning experience for that young man

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    1. Hopefully. He's still not doing his work, but he's not challenging me in class. And when Mrs. D returns and his work is not finished, my warnings might penetrate his skull.

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  8. I'm certainly glad his mother had your back! So many don't care. I saw that when interning at a Juvenile Hall library. Teenagers who'd never been to a library before in their lives. Right there showed me how uninvolved parents can be, and then they wonder "why."

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    1. Yeah, I see that at the continuation high school. Many of the students who end up there have families that don't support the kiddo's schooling.

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  9. We never get use not getting our way.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

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  10. Did I miss where you might have mentioned the age of this child? Anyway, I have to say that I am impressed that mom was able to do the attitude adjustment and get through to him enough to tell you he was sorry. Kids love to act out when moms are not around, to see if they can push a teach or just to see how far they can push, without getting that adjustment!!

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  11. It's good that he listened to his mum and came by to apologise! It's always good when you have a parent to back you up - I make it clear to my son's teachers they can always email or call me and I'll back them up with any consequences for any misbehaviour in class. It's easier I guess as they are just starting school here, so they don't get up too too much mischief!

    Hope you had a great weekend! We enjoyed the warmer weather here :)

    Away From The Blue

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    1. It makes it easier when the parent does back us up. Not all do. The ones who have parental support at home tend to not act up as much as the ones that don't.

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  12. A parent who actually helped. I know there are more of them than is commonly assumed, but it's nice to hear about one. Bravo.

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    1. Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised by how swift the consequence came.

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  13. It is good to see a responsible parent taking charge. I am sure not all of them are that way.

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    1. No, not all are. But enough are that using the threat of bringing in the parents works. I should use it more.

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  14. Whew you must feel relieved and glad it all worked all that way.

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    1. I was. Much better than having to do battle with him (and the rest of the class) for the remainder of my time in that class.

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  15. That's nice that his mom did something about his behavior. Hopefully he'll continue with the improved behavior.

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    1. He hasn't challenged me in class since this. He's still not doing his work, but he'll pay for that when the assignments for these weeks are graded and entered into the gradebook.

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  16. Great job! I'm so happy the issue is resolved AND that you have the mom's phone number now. I love it when teachers and parents unite to problem solve.

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    1. Yes, it's so nice not to have to worry about doing battle with him any longer.

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  17. I'm glad he acknowledged his actions and hope this is his turning point.

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    1. It didn't change how much work he got done, but at least he didn't challenge me in class again.

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