Memorable

I'm not sure what it is about middle school that every time they see me, they have to figure out where they know me from.  They'll question me about what elementary schools I've subbed at (I avoid elementary), and then they'll list their teachers.  We usually figure out where they know me from pretty quickly.

However, I don't always remember them.

"I remember you.  You taught me to Moonwalk."

Yeah, I remember that.

The Bribe

For some reason, it's always $1.

Yesterday after the testing finished, I covered an 8th grade math class.  Since they had been testing all morning, and since the classes were each 25 minutes long, the assignment was a set of reflection questions about the math test they had just taken.  Simple enough.

4th period finished up their questions as quickly as the other groups had.  Then they were allowed to sit and talk until the end of the period (these were even the instructions in the lesson plan).  But 4th period got bored.  One student asked if he could take out his cell phone.

First I said no.  Then I amended my no--he could take out his cell phone if he wanted me to confiscate it.

The boy had an offer for me.  He said that if each student in class paid me $1, then could they all take out their cell phones?  He told me I'd make $40 on the deal.

I looked around the classroom.  "40 dollars?" I asked.  "There are 40 students in class?"

He amended his estimate.  I could make $30.

Again, I questioned his estimate.  I had a roll list.  Earlier I noticed how many students were in the class.  20.  And all were present.

Finally, he got up and counted heads.  Then he changed the bribe offer to $2 per student.

I thought learning to count was covered in the lower grades somewhere.  And presumably he had been with this class all year.  Now he's figuring out that he's in a class of 20?

I again turned down his offer.  The period ended soon after, and I did not see a single cell phone.

But it's always $1.  The bribe the kids offer is always $1.

Faulty Subtraction

It's testing time...

Today I was assisting the librarian proctor the state tests.  The regular proctor (a teacher) was out sick today.  I could not proctor them on my own as I have not been trained.  (Not that I mind--imagine a class on sub behavior during important tests...)

We had a group of 8th graders.  The testing session was in two parts broken up with a snack break in between.

During the first session the kiddos had to answer 36 questions.  They all finished easily with time to spare.  They took their break, returned, and then were given the instructions for the second part of the test.  They were to finish questions 37 through 71.  That's when the wails and complaints started.

"But section 2 is soooo much longer.  We'll never finish."

And they were taking the math test today.

Seating Chart Intelligence Test

Before the first class arrived yesterday, I stood in the front of the room and perused the seating chart.  I don't usually do this, but it seemed to me that something was wrong.  Something was.  The chart did not reflect the room.

The row on the wall to the left of me had five chairs in it.  According to the seating chart, that row should have had six chairs.  And since there were names in each of the spots, I knew something was fishy.

The first thing I did was to flip the chart over.  But no.  The front of the room said "front".  The teacher's desk was marked at the back.  So, I had it the right way round.  But it was wrong.

I didn't have any more time to figure it out as the bell then rang and the class entered.  I gave them their instructions, passed out their assignment, and then went back to trying to figure out the silly seating chart.  If I couldn't figure it out, I was going to have to call out the full roll.  40 names.  Ugh!

I'm not sure how it finally hit me, for it makes no logical sense.  The seating chart was reversed, but not front to back.  It was reversed side to side.  The mirror image.

(I went around the room and confirmed names.  I had it figured correctly.)

What should have been to my right on the seating chart was to my left, and vice versa.  So, I had to look at the left side of the seating chart and count the row on my right.  Then the row to the right of the first row on the chart was to the left of the actual row on my left.

Confused?  So was I.

And of course none of this was warned of in the lesson plans.  He must use the seating chart from the back of the room upside down.  No, that doesn't make any sense either.

Missing the Headline

Just when I thought I was going to get to go home early today...

The secretary asked me to wait through lunch just in case someone needed a sub for the last period of the day.  About two minutes before the end of lunch the secretary came to get me.  A special ed teacher needed someone to cover her class as her meeting was running long.

There were no lesson plans, but there was a writing prompt on the board: "What would you do if you had a magic wand?"  Okay, easy enough.

The class came in.  The bell rang.  I explained that their teacher was in a meeting that went long.  She was going to be back before the end of the period, but until then, we would work on the writing assignment on the board.  We talked about the topic.  They seemed to get it.  I asked them to get out paper, and the room went silent.

Well, it was silent for a bit.  Then one of the students complained that another student was sitting somewhere he was not supposed to be sitting.  The boy said that he was well within his rights to be sitting there.  An impasse.

I reminded the boy that his teacher would be back before the end of the period.  Would she mind him sitting there?  He said not.

That's when another boy asked, "Ms. G. is coming back?'

I again explained.  In meeting.  Meeting went long.  Teacher coming back during class.

And they still managed to be surprised when Ms. G. arrived.

Quick Update

I haven't worked this week.  I've been ill.  Again.  (It's a bit ridiculous, I know.)

I got a call from the sub caller today.  She had assignments for me for next week.  For one of them I was requested.  She gave me the name, and I couldn't place it.

How could I be requested to sub for a teacher I don't remember?

I knew it had to be my memory, so I did a little search through my records.  Sure enough, I do remember the teacher.  I subbed a couple weeks in the room next door to her a while back.  I'm a little shocked she'd request me, though.  I didn't think she liked me all that much.

Movie Friday?

Friday was a bit crazy.  I already mentioned the period of football.  The first part of the day I had an opportunity class.

I had no lesson plans (not a good thing), but the board was covered with assignments.  I assumed that those assignments were assignments for the week, and I directed the students to continue working.  They informed me that it was Friday, that they always watched videos on Friday, and that they were done with all their work for the week.

This sounded reasonable, but I didn't believe them.  As it turned out, my instincts were right.

It was only a couple minutes later that a neighbor teacher walked in.  She had gotten a heads-up from the teacher I was subbing for that he would be out, and she came by to make sure that things were running smoothly (all would have been better if I had written lesson plans, but never mind).  She talked to the students for a moment, and then she left.

Suddenly, the insistence that it was movie Friday disappeared.  All but three of the students found books, got out paper, and at least made a pretense of getting to work.  The other three?  They still claimed that they were all finished for the week.

About an hour later, the instructional assistant arrived (his usual schedule).  Amazingly, the last three students found that they did indeed have work to do.  Fascinating.

(By the way, they did get to watch videos on Friday, but only after having worked for two hours.)