Catching Up

Eighth grade English. Fifth period. And I was confused. 

Class had barely started when a student asked me for a restroom pass. I checked the seating chart to get a name. "Evan?" I asked. He confirmed.

But, just before the bell had rung, another student had asked for a different hall pass. He needed to retrieve belongings from the PE locker room. Before I let him go, I asked his name so I wouldn't mark him absent when I went to take roll. He said his name was Evan. 

There were not two Evans on the roster. 

Getting roll taken takes a couple minutes. I was squaring away who had asked for hall passes (a girl had asked to go to the health office) and making sure I noted who was out of the room (the office had called for another boy) while checking for empty seats against the seating chart. I hadn't quite gotten my feet under me. 

Then the Evan who went to the locker room returned and sat in Evan's seat.

And now I knew what the problem was. Restroom Evan was not Evan. He was only pretending to be Evan.

Ah yes. A name swap. This I'm familiar with. 

Restroom Evan returned to greetings of, "Hello, Jose." 

Jose's seat was occupied. Jose attempted to sit in Evan's seat, not noticing that Evan was sitting there, all the while saying, "My name is Evan." 

Uh huh. Dude, the jig's up. 

Caught, Jose went back to his seat. The boy in that seat protested that Jose had told him to sit there and pretend to be him. (Considering his behavior up to this point, I'm more likely to believe that he was a willing participant.) 

A couple minutes later, and the boys were all back where they were supposed to be. A couple minutes after that, and the class settled. 

And then I had some time to write this all out for their teacher. I can't be the only one to "enjoy" their antics.

Swapping Names

I am on winter break this week. As is my custom, I will save the stories from last week for when we return to school in January. And so normally I'd be on the "summer schedule". 

But, as luck would have it, on the day of the chair throwing incident, I happened to have written a whole other blog post earlier. Obviously, a student throwing chairs is way more interesting. Rather than deleting this post entirely, I figured it would keep until school was on a break. 

It has been a while since I worked at the alternative education center. The kiddos I knew are now gone, replaced by a whole new batch of students. 

It was the Friday before Thanksgiving break. I had certain expectations going into the day. So, none of what happened truly surprised me.

First period. U.S. History. The students had a chapter to read and questions to answer. I was supposed to read the chapter with them, but immediately upon them entering the classroom, I knew that that wasn't going to happen. They were shouting out insults at each other, and I wish they had been just using F-bombs. The terminology they used was much ruder.

And then a couple of the boys were playing sounds out of their computer. It started with the Taco Bell bong, but it was soon audio clips of people speaking. Over and over a woman said something about her chest. There was some swearing as well. 

I was irritated. 

It didn't take long for me to figure out who was playing the audio clips. The boy who was doing it said his name was Ubaldo. His "friend" nearby was Verne. ("What kind of name is Verne, anyway?" he asked.) 

For other reasons, I went and looked over his shoulder. I was checking out the questions he was supposed to be answering.

In Google Classroom, the assignments posted automatically attach the student's name. So, I glanced at the title for the doc the boy was on, and it said his name. Verne. 

Yup, he was trying to confuse me by swapping names with his classmates. 

This is a very old trick. And, as I've noticed many times, they are very bad at it.

The next time Verne played an audio clip and I growled at him, he made some comment about himself being Ubaldo. 

Me: "Uh huh, okay, Verne." 

And then he knew. He had failed at getting me to believe he had a different name. 

I doubt that he really cares what I wrote in the note to his teacher. And I'm pretty sure Mr. T will not be surprised at what he got up to during class. But it's a little win for me, anyway.

Fake Amanda

I'm not great at detecting lies, but sometimes the kiddos are obvious. Today's #ThrowbackThursday post is from February 22, 2008, but I remember it well. 

Today I covered a 7th grade world history class.

I needed a silent room. I was not getting it. So, I warned them: "I will take down the names of those who continue to talk." This only works when I cover some teachers. This was one of them.

They fought me on it for a moment. I stared down the few whose names were going to be on my list. Then one of the girls (the talkers were all girls in this group) told me to write down her name. "I'm Amanda," she said.

She offered up her name way too easily. I was suspicious. I checked the seating chart. Sure enough, Amanda sat in that seat. But she did not look like an Amanda. She did not feel like an Amanda. I was sure I was being lied to.

Twenty minutes later (I had gotten my silence, so I didn't need to make my list) two other students were exchanging words. "Amanda, I have it here." The first student was talking to a different girl, not the one who claimed to be Amanda. I knew it!

After a quick perusal of the seating chart, I figured out who the fake Amanda was. Joanna. I was pretty sure. The two girls had probably switched seats.

Then someone called to the fake Amanda, calling her Joanna. I was right.

I don't know why they do this. I don't know what they get out of it. Today? They get honorable mention in my note to their teacher.

Ms. T recently retired. I miss her classes. She did not put up with this sort of nonsense. That girl was in serious trouble afterward.

Not My Name

Middle schoolers, in general, are terrible liars. (There are some masters of deception, but mostly they just can't manage it.)

Seventh grade math. Second period. I was taking roll via a seating chart. But because seating charts (especially in middle school classes where teachers are constantly moving kiddos) aren't always 100% accurate, I was calling out the names of those I was marking absent.

"Jake is not here..."

"He's here. He's sitting over there," a student let me know.

But when I looked over at Jake, he claimed he was Steven. He was sitting in Steven's seat.

"So, it's okay for me to mark Jake absent," I said.

Usually that's enough to make the student give up the game. Not Jake. Nope, he was willing to be absent to be Steven.

(Turns out that Steven was suspended, so he was marked absent anyway. And no, I didn't mark Jake absent. It seemed silly to do when I knew he was there.)

Needless to say, Jake was a difficult student.

But what was remarkable was how the rest of the class would not play along. Occasionally one of the kiddos would ask Jake something. They'd call out "Jake". He would say, "I'm Steven". And they would roll their eyes, finish whatever it was they wanted to ask, and then go back to what they were doing (which was mostly the assignment).

Because the rest of the class was behaving, Jake was not able to cause enough of a commotion for me to need to kick him out. But he got a starring role in my note to his teacher.

I was three doors down from that class the next day. I ran into Jake's regular teacher. Jake's antics got him suspended from class. And not for the first time. (Jake has been an issue in that class all year.)

Cutting her Losses

I was taking roll by seating chart.

"Where's Sarah?"

A girl raised her hand. She was sitting three seats behind and three seats over from where she should have been. But, was the seating chart accurate or had she been recently moved? I decided I wasn't in the mood to fight the battle.

I updated the seating chart and continued checking for missing students.

"Where's Angel?"

No one replied.

I knew Brian was absent; I remember him. By my head count, everyone else should have been there.

"Okay, so Brian and Angel are absent..."

No one corrected me. This is usually where someone chimes in with "I'm over here" so they don't get marked absent. Especially during summer school where they only get three before being dropped from the class.

Sarah had moved to sit beside a boy. I removed the phone they had been giggling over. The giggling continued. As the boy was in his assigned seat, it was the girl who needed to move.

I directed her to a seat at the front of the room (near where her assigned seat was). She agreed with no fuss. She packed up her stuff. Then she walked out of the room.

Um, I wasn't kicking her out. Just adjusting her seat.

Okay. Fine. It's summer school. She's absent. I noted this and wrote a note to the teacher about Sarah.

The rest of the class went smoothly. As I collected work from them at the end of the period, I glanced to make sure their names were on their papers.

That was when I saw "Sarah" at the top of a paper.

And suddenly I understood. "Sarah" was Angel. (Sarah was in her proper seat. But because Angel wasn't in hers, the whole row was in question, hence why I called Sarah's name even though she was where she was supposed to be.)

I guess Angel wasn't thinking through the whole lying-about-her-name thing. And she hadn't conferred with Sarah about swapping names. (It must have been the boy. Apparently she couldn't resist getting a chance to flirt with him.)

So, when I asked her to move, Angel must have figured she had nothing to lose by just leaving. She was already marked absent.

Although, why Sarah didn't speak up...

Once I discovered my mistake, it was easy enough to fix Sarah so she was marked present and change my note to reflect the correct name. And all it needed was one more tweak where I mentioned that Angel had lied about her name.

Freshmen...

The Imposter

Diego tried again.

It was Tuesday. It was the passing period before fifth. Diego walked in. I let him.

Students come by and visit other students during passing period all the time. It is sort of their time. I don't start class until the bell, so before that time, they can meander and talk and do such things. I figured that Diego wanted to say hi to his friends in class, and I didn't have a problem with that.

He took a seat in the room. The student assigned to that seat hadn't arrived yet, so I wasn't concerned.

But, as the passing period progressed, I figured it was time for Diego to get on his way. I wasn't going to excuse his tardy to wherever he was supposed to be now, so I urged him to be on his way.

"This is my class," he explained. "I'm Ace."

Yup, he was seated in Ace's seat. But he was definitely not Ace.

This sort of thing might work if I had been in the class for one day. Even two. But this was day 12. And Ace was... memorable.

Plus, Diego is Latino. Ace is African-American. They don't look a thing alike.

So, I called him by name and told him he should get to his actual class. And he left.

It's nice when the lies are so blatantly obvious.

Juan, a.k.a. Julio

It was the kind of math class where I had the students for two periods, because the students needed extra help with math. So, naturally, none of them really wanted to be there. Which, of course, means that I was spending all my time on behavior issues rather than getting any time, really, to spend on math.

The boy introduced himself as Juan. And I spent much of that first period with them calling on him. Not to answer any questions. I just wanted him to settle down so I could go over the assignment with the class.

He wasn't the only one, of course, but just one of the most vocal.

Between their first period in class and second, they had lunch. Upon returning from lunch, I went back over the roll to make sure all the students had returned.

"Caleb?"

"Juan" answered.

It was then I remembered "Juan" from a previous class. He had told me to call him Juan then, too. Juan is not his middle name either (his middle initial is not J).

No wonder the rest of the class had so much fun calling him Juan. Oh well, whatever.

But for the second class, he was done with Juan. He said to call him Julio.

Okay, fine. I'll call him whatever he likes (well, within reason). I just had to make sure to call him Caleb in my note (for the not settling in class, not for using a different name).

Misnamed

"I'm Hannah."

"I'm Kyle."

"I'm Andrew. What's your name?"

It was passing period. As the students trickled in to their math class in the fourth week of school, my attention was caught by this exchange. When the kiddos noticed my interest, they explained.

"There's this kid who doesn't know anyone's name, so he just uses any name," via "Hannah".

And, apparently, they've adapted themselves to this.

"Kyle" did kind of look like a Kyle. (If this post was about him, that'd be a possible pseudonym for him, since I always change student names.) "Hannah", however, did not. When pressed, I couldn't tell her what name she did look like, only that it wasn't a Hannah.

Meanwhile, I'm so careful to use their correct names...

A Name Swap

Once again, it is Thursday, and I've taken a trip into the way-back files. This post originally appeared on January 15, 2011. 

The bell hadn't even rung yet when I noticed the three boys in the back far corner of the room. Instead of entering the room, going to their seats, and getting ready for the period, they were playing around. As I couldn't get to them quickly (due to the teacher's bench, the distance to them, and the new student who was checking in), I had to yell at them to stop that right now.

I was ready for a bit of a battle with this group. The class was called survey of biology, and it was for the students who couldn't handle the standard biology curriculum. The rest of the Friday (regular biology classes) had gone relatively smoothly; the classes were a bit loud but on task.

I was not expecting the three boys in fifth period.

I finished taking roll and getting the new student squared away, and then I gave the class the assignment. Then I could walk around the room. I headed for the three boys. They were playing, and I needed to get them working.

The largest of the three introduced himself as "Tom". Then he introduced the boy sitting next to him as "James". "Tom" explained that "James" never does any work in class, so I should expect nothing from him.

However, I knew he was not Tom. It was luck, though, for I had marked Tom absent, and now I knew that Tom was present. Tom was the boy introduced as "James".

The third boy, so far unintroduced, was James. I knew this. For some reason, I remember James. I'm not sure why. I had him in class on Tuesday (where he was quiet and unremarkable). I remember noting that I hadn't seen him in a while, so when I saw him again Friday, I knew who he was.

I turned to the actual James and said, "Hello, James". James claimed that his name was Benz.

Not-Tom was Benz. He's another boy who I've known a while, and I couldn't remember his name until James claimed to be him. (I remembered it was distinctive, but that was all.) So, I said hello to the actual Benz, and he claimed to be... Oh, now I can't remember.

They attempted to confuse me, or maybe they were confused themselves. Benz flipped the introductions around, only making sure that he was using the wrong names for each of them. If I hadn't been sure of who they actually were (from having them in other classes) I might have been fooled. But Benz couldn't confuse me on this. (Besides, I've dealt with this sort of thing before.)

Once I made it clear I knew who was who, I walked away. I returned a couple times to check up on them. I thought about writing them up, but I couldn't figure out how to word the referral. And once the initial idiocy was over, they kept to themselves and didn't rile up the class (the rest of the class was working pretty well).

I guess they didn't remember that they'd had me in class before. Then again, maybe they did. Perhaps they thought that if they denied their names long enough, I'd believe them. Yeah, not so much.

Come to think of it, I haven't had a good name swap in a while. I don't know if it's the online attendance (with photos!) or if they know me and I know them just too well. (Of course, now that I've said this, it's sure to come up in the fall.)

Not John

And yet another tale from that science class from early October. (You didn't believe me when I said these posts would take until Christmas to complete, did you?) 

"What are we, in kindergarten?"

The 8th graders were not pleased that Ms. O had asked that they check out the pair of scissors they needed for their projects. All they had to do was write their names and the color of the scissors' handle. And then scratch their name off the list when they returned the scissors.

Simple enough, right?

Near the end of first period, I took the list and the box of scissors and went around the room, collecting. They replaced the scissors and crossed off their names.

"John Smith... I'm John Smith..."

And if that hadn't been red flag enough...

"Psst, John. I crossed off your name. I'm John Smith."

Have I mentioned that they're really bad at lying about their names?

The students around "John" called him Chris. And I had a semi-accurate seating chart with pictures. So I confirmed that his name was, in fact, Chris.

He hadn't done anything name-in-note worthy, so I wasn't sure why the name lie. Especially since as I was collecting scissors, I wasn't paying attention, really. I was just making sure I got a pair of scissors back and a name was crossed off. But the fact he felt the need to lie...

Yep. Name-in-note. For lying about his name.

The next day his name was on the board. He'd earned a detention. And why was explained on the board for everyone to see.

Forewarned Is Forearmed

"Hi. My name is Jake."

The boy held out his hand, so I shook it. It was passing period. Students filed into class. Instead of sitting, Jake put his backpack on his desk and proceeded to roam about.

Right before the bell, another boy walked in. He took Jake's seat. Not missing a beat, Jake grabbed his backpack and took a different seat.

In the lesson plan for the day, Ms. S warned me about only two students--Jake and Deon.

I addressed Deon by name and told both boys to sit in their proper seats. Deon claimed he was really Jake, and Jake asserted now that his name was Deon.

Which might have worked if Jake hadn't introduced himself to me. Which I pointed out.

(The rest of the class thought this was hilarious. They saw Jake introduce himself, so they knew Jake had blown it.)

*shakes head*

Fake Amanda

It's 9/11 and #ThrowbackThursday. No, I'm not going to do a 9/11 tribute. There are others (many others, I suspect) who will do this, and they will do this much better than me. Today I'm offering something silly that was originally posted on February 22, 2008.

Today I covered a 7th grade world history class.

I needed a silent room. I was not getting it. So, I warned them: "I will take down the names of those who continue to talk." This only works when I cover some teachers. Ms. T is one of them.

They fought me on it for a moment. I stared down the few whose names were going to be on my list. Then one of the girls (the talkers were all girls in this group) told me to write down her name. "I'm Amanda," she said.

She offered up her name way too easily. I was suspicious. I checked the seating chart. Sure enough, Amanda sat in that seat. But she did not look like an Amanda. She did not feel like an Amanda. I was sure I was being lied to.

Twenty minutes later (I had gotten my silence, so I didn't need to make my list) two other students were exchanging words. "Amanda, I have it here." The first student was talking to a different girl, not the one who claimed to be Amanda. I knew it!

After a quick perusal of the seating chart, I figured out who the fake Amanda was. Joanna. I was pretty sure. The two girls had probably switched seats.

Then someone called to the fake Amanda, calling her Joanna. I was right.

I don't know why they do this. I don't know what they get out of it. Today? They get honorable mention in my note to their teacher.

The Ballad of Mike and Ricky

For #ThrowbackThursday, I'm offering a post of a day I thankfully don't recall. I don't recall anything about this day or these two. I'm glad of that. This post first appeared on May 21, 2010.

(not their real names--their real names are much more distinctive)

Freshman English. 5th period. The other classes warned me about them, so I was sort of prepared.

It was near the beginning of the period when Mike first accosted me. He wanted me to sign his grade check. Never mind that it wasn't Thursday (the normal day for grade checks). He had written in a C+ as his grade. I explained that since I didn't have access to his grades I wasn't going to sign.

Mike wouldn't take no for an answer. I told him I would sign, but only if we changed his grade to N/A (not available), or he could wait until Monday. I noticed that no other teacher had signed this grade check, yet Mike insisted that he needed it for football. Finally, he relented, but I could tell that he was not pleased.

I tried to get on with the lesson plan, but period 5 was not cooperating. Ricky was "helping" by correcting the sentence of the day on the board. After he erased the corrections. Then he erased the clean board. And again.

I told Ricky to stop. It was time to sit down. Ricky informed me that Ricky wasn't his name; his name was John. This might have been plausible if (1) there had been a John on the class roll, and (2) I didn't know him from last year.

"Ricky, I mean 'John', it's time to sit down." (I managed to convey the quotes around John in my tone.) I continued to call him "Ricky, I mean 'John'" for the rest of the period.

Then Mike got into the game. He claimed his name was Pedro. He explained that while he might have looked black, he was half Mexican (and half Chinese and half white and half something else--it went on and on). I replied that he couldn't be all those halves, but that point was lost on him.

Pedro was actually the boy who sat behind him. I don't know why Pedro let Mike use his name without protest. He must have seen that I didn't believe Mike. I knew Mike from last year, so the name change wasn't flying.

It was a very long period. I won't even mention the disaster of a spelling test.

At the end of the day as I was packing up, something made me check the grades posted on the wall. (I knew they were there for Mike; I didn't feel like checking up on him for his grade check.) I found Mike's student number (on the roll sheet). Low and behold, Mike had a 67%. C+? I don't think so.

I made sure to note that in my note to the teacher even though I had written quite a lot about Mike (and Ricky) already.

Not Deshawn

Today I had 8th grade science. The teacher had forgotten to leave the seating charts, so I had to call out the roll. (I assume he forgot the seating charts, as the lesson plan made mention of them, but I couldn't find them anywhere.) This went fairly smoothly until 6th period.

There are some names that are unique to various races. For example, a Jose is always a Latino. So, when I called out Deshawn, I knew something was up when one boy indicated that this boy was present, but he was over there (indicating a white boy). Especially when "Deshawn" looked a bit bewildered about this. He refused to say that he was "here", so I marked Deshawn absent.

The boy who pointed out "Deshawn" responded to the name Chris. I heard a few snickers from the crowd. I knew what game "Chris" was playing now. (Yeah, this game has come up a couple times.)

I don't know why Deshawn wanted to pretend to be someone else. It's not like he did anything out of the ordinary. In fact, had it not been for the name swap, he wouldn't have made my note at all. As it was, the swap was pretty obvious.

At the beginning of the period, several students tried to remember to call Deshawn "Chris", but most slipped up within moments. (They were working on group projects, so there was continuous noise. Since most of them were doing what they were supposed to be doing, I wasn't concerned.) If I had had any doubts about Deshawn's true name, those would have been erased before the class was halfway over. By then, the charade was up, and most of the others had forgotten to call Deshawn anything else.

I left Deshawn marked absent, though. I thought it served him right.

A Name Swap

The bell hadn't even rung yet when I noticed the three boys in the back far corner of the room.  Instead of entering the room, going to their seats, and getting ready for the period, they were playing around.  As I couldn't get to them quickly (due to the teacher's bench, the distance to them, and the new student who was checking in), I had to yell at them to stop that right now.

I was ready for a bit of a battle with this group.  The class was called survey of biology, and it was for the students who couldn't handle the standard biology curriculum.  The rest of the Friday (regular biology classes) had gone relatively smoothly; the classes were a bit loud but on task.

I was not expecting the three boys in fifth period.

I finished taking roll and getting the new student squared away, and then I gave the class the assignment.  Then I could walk around the room.  I headed for the three boys.  They were playing, and I needed to get them working.

The largest of the three introduced himself as Tom.  Then he introduced the boy sitting next to him as James.  He explained that he never does any work in class, so I should expect nothing from him.

However, I knew he was not Tom.  It was luck, though, for I had marked Tom absent, and now I knew that Tom was present.  He was the boy introduced as James.

The third boy, so far unintroduced, was James.  I knew this.  For some reason, I remember James.  I'm not sure why.  I had him in class on Tuesday (where he was quiet and unremarkable).  I remember noting that I hadn't seen him in a while, so when I saw him again Friday, I knew who he was.

I turned to the actual James and said hello.  James claimed that his name was Benz.

Not-Tom was Benz.  He's another boy who I've known a while, and I couldn't remember his name until James claimed to be him.  (I remembered it was distinctive, but that was all.)  So, I said hello to the actual Benz, and he claimed to be...  Oh, now I can't remember.

They attempted to confuse me, or maybe they were confused themselves.  Benz flipped the introductions around, only making sure that he was using the wrong names for each of them.  If I hadn't been sure of who they actually were (from having them in other classes) I might have been fooled.  But Benz couldn't confuse me on this.  (Besides, I've dealt with this sort of thing before.)

Once I made it clear I knew who was who, I walked away.  I returned a couple times to check up on them.  I thought about writing them up, but I couldn't figure out how to word the referral.  And once the initial idiocy was over, they kept to themselves and didn't rile up the class (the rest of the class was working pretty well).

I guess they didn't remember that they'd had me in class before.  Then again, maybe they did.  Perhaps they thought that if they denied their names long enough, I'd believe them.  Yeah, not so much.

Fake Amanda

Today I covered a 7th grade world history class.

I needed a silent room. I was not getting it. So, I warned them: "I will take down the names of those who continue to talk." This only works when I cover some teachers. This was one of them.

They fought me on it for a moment. I stared down the few whose names were going to be on my list. Then one of the girls (the talkers were all girls in this group) told me to write down her name. "I'm Amanda," she said.

She offered up her name way too easily. I was suspicious. I checked the seating chart. Sure enough, Amanda sat in that seat. But she did not look like an Amanda. She did not feel like an Amanda. I was sure I was being lied to.

Twenty minutes later (I had gotten my silence, so I didn't need to make my list) two other students were exchanging words. "Amanda, I have it here." The first student was talking to a different girl, not the one who claimed to be Amanda. I knew it!

After a quick perusal of the seating chart, I figured out who the fake Amanda was. Joanna. I was pretty sure. The two girls had probably switched seats.

Then someone called to the fake Amanda, calling her Joanna. I was right.

I don't know why they do this. I don't know what they get out of it. Today? They get honorable mention in my note to their teacher.