Slap-Ass Friday

I found this note attached to the top of today's lesson plan. The teacher wrote at the top, "I received this at the end of the day," so I knew it had to be important: 

Teachers, I have delightful news: tomorrow is Slap-Ass Friday!

Please discuss our discipline policies and procedures with your first and second period classes. Any students smacking other people's butts will receive an at-home suspension... 

No! Really? 

As requested, I delicately brought up the subject with first period. I so didn't want to say "slap-ass" to a room full of 8th graders. Luckily, I didn't have to. My allusions got that moniker out of them pretty quickly. Then...

"But it's tradition!" 

I swear, the girl who said that was serious. Tradition? I've been subbing for a while, and the last I heard of this "tradition" was last year, as in the first year it was tried.

I remember covering a 7th grade class. Some student said something about getting slapped by the 8th graders. I told the 7th graders that no 8th graders would hit them, and if they did, the 8th graders would be in serious trouble. As I heard nothing about anyone getting slapped, I figured that this rumor was a figment of the 7th graders' imagination.

I explained that SAP was not going to be tolerated. Then I moved on to the assignment for the day. Quickly. 8th graders can get hung up on the littlest things, and it would have been so easy to get stuck on this for the whole period and get nothing done.

I saw no instances of students slapping each other on the behind, so if they did occur, it was outside of class. The kids should have had enough excitement anyway. We had an assembly today. (Plus it rained. For about 5 minutes. That always gets them.)

These kids have such limited imaginations. I'm sure you can come up with a better "tradition". What is it? (Real or imagined. Actually, imagined might be better.)

The DVD That Would Not Play

I'm fairly competent when it comes to technology, specifically computers. I'm not an expert, but I can solve most of the problems that I encounter. But sometimes things are beyond my control.

The teacher left an audio file on his computer introducing today's lesson. After that, I was to play a DVD in the computer so that it could be projected onto the white board large enough for the whole class to see. As I've done this sort of thing before, I figured it would be easy enough.

I got the projector turned on. I put in the DVD. I started the DVD. It got about two screens in when it froze.

I spent about 10 minutes trying every trick I know. Ejecting and reinserting the disc. A different program. Cleaning off the DVD. Restarting the computer. After that, it was time to call for help.

(Another teacher came in. 15 minutes passed, but he was no closer to getting the thing to work than I was. Then the tech guy got to school.)

The tech guy started by doing the same things I did. He figured out that the problem was the DVD (it was a copy of a copy or something), so he opened a program that he said will play anything. And it did.

At this point, we had about 15 minutes left of class. Well, it was better than nothing.

During the teacher's prep period, a reading class used the room. I hung out, checking my email and reading blogs. The class read an article on bullying.

Near the end of class, the teacher said she would normally show them some news clips via YouTube, but since there was a sub, she couldn't. I piped up to say that I could work the system.

The teacher found the clips. I got the projector running. The clips played without a hitch.

Why doesn't it work that well when it's just me?

High School Troubadours

This morning, a boy was wearing a t-shirt with this on it:

Very funny. (By the way, x=5. And I didn't even have to resort to the Pythagorean theorem. Gotta love those 3-4-5 right triangles.)

And now for something completely different...

If I ever get around to writing a screenplay set in a high school, I'm going to include troubadours roaming the walkways. Why? Because it's true to my experience.

(Troubadour may not be the correct term, but it evokes the feeling, so I'm keeping it.)

In the same class as the boy wearing that t-shirt, another boy had his guitar. As there is a guitar class on campus, I'm used to seeing students toting around guitars. And seeing them playing guitar as they walk from class to class. Sometimes they try to play guitar in class.

Normally, I stop this. They should be doing the assignment for the class they're in, after all. (When I cover the guitar class, I let them play, of course.)

It was near the end of the period, and the class was behaving acceptably. The boy was finished with the assignment, so I didn't stop him when he got out his guitar. The other students said it soothed them, so I let him play for a bit.

He wasn't bad. At least he didn't play the same lick over and over again.

Then the period ended.  

Imago of a Professional Crafter

It's time for the Second Campaigner Challenge. Here's my entry:

You know I have an online shop, right? I try not to add to the miasma of constant marketing that permeates our lives, but it’s been a while since I mentioned Zizi Rho Designs, so here I go again. (I’ll pause while you oscitate. I promise to be brief.)

I’ve always loved to go to craft fairs. I never thought I could do what they do. But a weird synchronicity has occurred with the Internet and the crafting community. It’s now so much easier to start a business selling your own wares to a wider audience.  

At the moment, I’m making ereader cozies. I think they’re fun. They keep the ereaders safe while you’re toting them around. Also, if you happen to find a lacuna in your current read, it’s better to throw the cozy across the room rather than risk damaging the electronic equipment (or break any mirrors you might hit).

 

(If you’d like one, I have a few for sale. I’ll make one custom if you want a different color or pattern.)  

I like having an online shop. I can make what I want, and I can find people that appreciate what I make.   


If you liked my entry, it's #120.

Fictional Earthquake?

As a sub, I get to hear all sorts of things about teachers from the students' perspectives. Some days the students vent a bit about frustrations in their classes. So long as things don't get out of hand, I let them talk. I hear the most interesting things that way.

Today, the class got to talking about a home ec. teacher that they had all had a couple years ago. They did not like her much.

I've met this teacher. She's nice enough to other adults. But I've also seen her classes, and so I understand why she's strict with them.

The students told me that they liked to make her angry. They did this every day.

One girl told me, "We had an earthquake, and she didn't believe us. We could have died!"

I pointed out that if the earthquake was mild enough that the teacher didn't feel it, it was unlikely that the thing was strong enough to cause injury or damage. The girl continued on, though.

"The cabinets were shaking and everything."

I was still unimpressed. If the school didn't call for an evacuation, then the earthquake wasn't strong enough to cause any harm. And it's entirely possible that the students could have faked this by shaking the cabinets themselves. As I wasn't there, I can't know any of this for sure.

Venting done, the students moved on to other topics of conversation.

Taking His Time

The benchmark exam was supposed to take 45 minutes. They gave us two days (class periods are nearly an hour). That should have been enough time to finish.

Today I was in the same class as yesterday. Each period, a handful of students needed more time. Plus, each period had a student who had been absent yesterday. Everyone was able to finish up today. Well, except for one...

Yesterday, he spent the entire period looking at the test. When I collected it at the end of the period, he hadn't bubbled in a single answer. Not one.

I gave him back the test today. During one of my walk-arounds, this boy stopped me to ask if he could use the restroom. Normally, I would have said yes and not batted an eye. But I took one look at his answer sheet, which had only one question answered after having been in class for 20 minutes, and I said no.

He started to work on the thing, finally. He got about halfway through the test by the end of the period. Actually, he tried to turn the thing in a bit early. I told him he should get some more of the test done. He said he'd finish it up tomorrow.

Uh, no. He frittered away two days, and he wants more time?

After school, I turned in the tests to the office. I told the administrator about this one student. She didn't think he should get any more time either.

Benchmark Fail

Once each quarter, the schools give benchmark tests. They are designed to see how well the students have learned the things they're supposed to learn. Today I covered an English class and the benchmark was the assignment.

These tests come with pre-labeled answer sheets. The first thing I did was to pass out these answer sheets. I was surprised that five students didn't get one. One student, maybe two, but five? This should have been my first clue, but I just found blank answer sheets and passed those out to the students.

It wasn't until second period that I discovered the mistake. It turns out that there were two different tests, but I only gave first period one of them. The five students? They should have taken the other test.

Second period I found the second test, and every student got a pre-labeled answer sheet. I went around and passed out the test booklets for the tests, being careful to give the proper test to each student. I double checked their answer sheets to make sure they were getting the proper test booklet. Or so I thought.

As the students finished the test, I noticed something. I had test booklets that did not agree with the answer sheets.

The worst part of this? After passing everything out, I asked the students to check their answer sheets and compare them to the test booklets. They were supposed to tell me if they did not match. They didn't.

I felt like a complete idiot.

By third period, the kinks were worked out of the system. As I collected the tests, everything matched.

It doesn't matter. I still felt like an idiot.

There are some days that I just shouldn't get out of bed.