That's Not the Math Assignment

The class was called "math support and enrichment". Officially it's an extra period of math for students who are struggling so they can get some extra help.

In practice it's a class of the worst behaved students who really don't want to be there. 

The following week was finals. They had the period to do some studying. Did they? Of course not.

"Could you sign something for me?"

I couldn't imagine what the boy needed me to sign. He handed me the page.

After a quick scan, I got the gist. It was the assignment from his health class. He was to interview an adult in his life, and the signature was the proof that the interview had taken place. 

The boy was going to fill out what he needed to fill out, but he needed an adult to sign off. It was due that same day. 

It was one of those "a lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part" type of situations. 

I pointed out that he was supposed to interview someone. He asked if he could interview me.

No. Absolutely not. 

I already had my hands full with the class. One girl was yelling at just about everyone in class. They were picking on her. Then a group of boys was doing something on social media. And that was along with the other misbehaviors that I was just trying to keep a lid on.

But that's not the main reason I wasn't going to consent to an interview.

It's the end of the semester. The health classes are in their last unit. The sex ed unit. 

There's no way that goes any way but sideways.

(It was quite the treat to listen as the boy and another girl in the class went over material for the class. They mispronounced chlamydia and syphilis.)

Peep Show

It was Monday of the last week of school. The eighth graders were on a celebratory field trip to Knott's Berry Farm. The teacher I was covering was one of the chaperones, and I was left with all of his seventh graders.

Mr. S had one period of middle school leadership, one period of middle school theater, and two periods of English Language Development (read: English learners). As his leadership and theater classes needed a different sort of room, he traveled to a more academic classroom for the ELD classes.

The room he used for his ELD classes housed health classes the rest of the day.

It's the end of the semester, so the health classes are currently studying sexually transmitted diseases, something first period gleefully informed me of. (I knew this already, so I shrugged it off.)

The classes' assignment was an essay about what goals they had for their summer vacation. And they were less than pleased to be writing.

And sixth period...

They were terrible in the usual sort of way. I was not shocked. So, I tried to settle them as I went into explaining what they were doing for the period.

"He lets me pull up the screen."

All classrooms have projectors now, and most of the time the screen is down. I didn't need the board underneath, but I figured what was the harm in letting the boy raise the screen?

As soon as the screen went up, the whole class erupted in hoots and hollers.

I looked back at the board...

Posted to the white board was a poster of the female reproductive system.

I pulled the screen back down.

I should have known.

The boys (there were two girls in the class of about twenty) didn't settle at all that period. I have a feeling that's their normal behavior. At least that class is no more. (School let out on the 6th. It is officially summer vacation.)

Filler

Health. I'd covered for this teacher last year during the last two weeks of summer school, so I kind of knew what I was getting into.

For the last four hours, I had the same group. (They missed taking health during the school year. Many of them because they'd taken an AP class instead. Which means they were a pretty good group, especially for summer school.)

They were studying the chapter on nutrition. They had vocabulary, a chapter outline, a food collage, and chapter review questions.

Unfortunately, that was enough work for only 3 hours...

Luckily, the teacher had left his laptop. (Their vocab terms and journal topic needed to be projected.) I know how to kill 45ish minutes. YouTube!

Yeah, it's cheating. But they're freshmen (going to be sophomores in September), and you never want to give freshmen free time. It doesn't go well. Not even for these kiddos, the more academically inclined (and better behaved) of the class.

Ever search "nutrients" on YouTube? Turns out (once I ignored the videos on pot) that there are some decent on topic short videos that I could play.

They hated this, of course. They would have rather sat around and talked and watched videos on their phones. But considering how loud they were already getting, and from past experience, I knew I needed something...

They only seemed to enjoy one video. Mostly, they were making fun of it. But no matter.

I'll take laughter at the video over a wild party atmosphere (for 45ish minutes) any day. (This video was only about 5 minutes.)

A Non-Break

The schools are on block schedule for state testing. Two-hour periods. Which, depending on the lesson plan, can make for a very long period.

(Only specific teachers are testing on any given day. They're not absent on those days. I'm covering classes that are business as usual, albeit with very long classes.)

Health class. Freshmen. The teacher left them a huge packet on safety to complete. (Stuff like what to do in a natural disaster or if an accident were to happen in the home.)

I was braced for the worst. Freshmen. For two hours. Of what amounted to busywork. And it was the same teacher that I covered a few times in the fall semester. (I posted about those days here, here, and here.)

But then I remembered that health is a semester course (meaning that as we're now in the spring semester, all the kiddos I had issues with are no longer in the class). Except that Ms. E left me a few names of students to keep an eye on. And guess who was on the list? Kevin. Naturally.

Kevin was as happy to see me as I was to see him. (I was gratified to see his reaction to seeing me. He was so not pleased. I guess I make him do work, or something.)

Class started, and something surprising happened. The room stayed silent...

Oh sure, Kevin did no work. As did another boy on the other side of the room who I'd also been warned about. But they did no work silently. While the rest of the class busily scribbled away.

I wished for my knitting. Or a magazine. I was expecting to be dealing with issues, and there were none.

Ms. E had recommended that the class get a break at some point. With this group I think I would have offered on my own. They probably needed one. So, at an hour in, I told the class they could get up and stretch or move around.

They looked at me like I was crazy. And continued to work.

Well, not Kevin and the other boy. They took a break. (From not doing work. *shakes head*)

At the end of the two hours, two students had finished, while the vast majority had only a couple pages of work left. Well, except for Kevin. He still had seven pages to go.

Some weeks are easier than others. This week was pretty easy.

Mass Exodus

It was the last day of summer school. The entirety of the lesson plan was a "final" (the final three chapter tests), and then they got to watch a video.

The class was four hours. The final took maybe an hour. With a half hour of preliminary stuff, some study time, and correcting the finals after (they swapped papers, and I called out the answers), they had a little over two hours remaining.

They wanted to know if they had to come back after the break.

I can totally see their point. They were done. But, legally, they were in that class, and I was responsible for them for the time until the class dismissed.

I'm not sure how the conversation got around to it, but they found the loophole. No, they couldn't just leave (I would inform the office that they'd cut). I couldn't dismiss them (we were all there until the end of class). But if a parent checked them out...

After we got back from the break, I did a head count. They all returned. Then the phone rang. Could I send a student to the office as she was leaving?

Two minutes later, another call.

By the fifth call, the secretary was very apologetic. She didn't need to be. I knew exactly what happened. They'd called their parents, and someone came to check them out.

Well, they were done...

And it was better for me, as several of my worst cases went home early. Like "Eddie Haskell". It made the rest of the day go so much more calmly.

The rest of them got dismissed at the normal time. 11:45 AM.

Silence is Golden

It was summer school. The kiddos were generally on task. They turned in everything they were assigned. They did everything they were assigned. And the major behavior problem I had was them getting too loud, especially when they were between assignments.

So, I wasn't too concerned with their cell phones.

I don't have an issue with them listening to music while they work. Just so long as I don't have to hear it. That's what earbuds are for.

But "Eddie Haskell" didn't have earbuds...

At various times I'd hear sound coming from his cell phone. He'd be playing some basketball game, watching some video, or listening to music. None of which I should have been able to hear.

I told him this. He didn't see my point. He wasn't bothering anybody.

Um, yes, he was bothering me.

So, he attempted to find something that wouldn't bother me. He and his friends discussed different types of music. They floated the idea of country music...

(Why do kiddos assume I'd like country music? I mean no offense if that's what you like, but I've never been a fan. And that they assume that's what I like offends me no end.)

...Then they thought about classical. They'd go with a Beethoven symphony.

For me, that wasn't the point. (The song he had on before was something I kind of liked.) The point was, I'd asked not to hear their music.

So, periodically, I'd hear piano or some other symphonic melody. And I'd go and tell him to turn that music off.

Deep, deep sigh.

(I did "offer" to hold on to his cell phone so he wouldn't be "tempted" to use it. That helped curb things a little. But cell phone rules are rather fluid at the moment. And as it was summer school and it appeared that Mr. C had allowed their use before, I was in a rather odd spot in terms of them. The regular school year is easier. I would have confiscated the phone and turned it into the office after the second offense.)

Logistics, Part 2

The prior week, I had covered a health class for summer school. Originally I had been contacted to cover the Monday. Then Tuesday through Friday was added. And then the last four days of summer school, the following week from Monday through Thursday, was added as well.

Needless to say, this was not a planned thing, and I wish Mr. C all the best.

They were covering the full semester health class in about five weeks, four hours per day. Which meant that they flew through chapters. And chapter tests.

But going through the chapters this quickly meant that the students didn't have study time to prepare for tests. To make up for this, the teacher allowed open book tests, but just for the first few minutes of the test.

Which, of course, the students didn't think was long enough.

This day they were taking three chapter tests together. Multiple choice and true/false. They'd get fifteen minutes of open book time.

They complained that he gave them ten minutes per test of open book time before. So, they should get longer, they protested.

One girl said that they should take each test individually.

I could see what she said, but I couldn't do this due to the logistics of passing out and collecting tests. Did they take one test, wait for everyone to finish, and then pass out the next test? Or, was I supposed to give the next test when someone finished the first? Which then would mean that each student was on a different five minutes of open book time.

How was I supposed to coordinate all of this?

The girl complained of my use of the term "logistics".

"Do you mean 'logically'?" she asked.

Um, no, "logistics" is the term I meant.

But clearly I was misspeaking because "logistics" isn't a word, and it makes no sense anyway. Couldn't I just give them more open book time? Or pass out each test separately?

This is why I've stopped trying to explain things to teenagers. Sometimes it's like arguing with a brick wall. Although, a brick wall has more give.

I passed out all the tests at the same time, but I did give them five minute warnings. I could, at least, do that for them.

Logistics

I'm a guest over at Chrys Fey's blog today. She asked me about where this blog got its name among other things. It's here. I'd love it if you went over and said hi. 

They don't give subs keys during summer school. This is for a very specific reason. They don't have spares.

This wouldn't be much of a problem normally. Security opens the door for me. I don't leave the room. The door is locked when I leave. Simple.

But, the health teacher gave the class projects. That they needed computers for. In a computer lab that's also locked.

(This is way more interesting and engaging than having them read the book and answer questions on paper, so I'm good with the assignments. Just not the getting there.)

Our first project was the AIDS/HIV thing I mentioned earlier. As I explained their assignment, they got ready to go. Not sure how long it would take us to get there (it wasn't far, but I had things to collect before we left, and they had to pack up their stuff), I said that security could take his time getting to us.

We got over to the lab and waited. And waited. And waited.

Um...

Finally, after way too long in the heat of the day, I decided to call again. (I may rail against cell phones, but mine saved me more than once this week.) Security got there very quickly after that. Whew.

He explained. When he was told he didn't have to hurry, he got talking to someone, and forgot about us.

Naturally.

But I learned my lesson. After that, I didn't say anything about taking his time. For it didn't take us long at all to get to the computer lab.

Eddie Haskell

I expect a certain level of disdain from the students. I understand. They think I'm old. And what I think is cool they generally roll their eyes at.

What I want from them is their cooperation when it comes to getting through the lesson plan. And when I have that, I'm good.

So, when a student acts like something I say or do is way cool, I'm skeptical. They're doing an Eddie Haskell to my Mrs. Cleaver.

Last week's Eddie liked my earrings and said I was the coolest sub ever because I deigned to give him a fist bump. Uh huh. Sure.

Now, Eddie did his work. Albeit a bit sloppily and in a hurry. And the bare minimum. His buddies were also a bit... Well, not wild per se, but a bit loud. And they were way too eager to get finished with things so they had some spare time to play basketball games on their phones.

Last Friday the topic was tobacco. And they were to do a presentation to the class. Eddie and his buddies wanted to know if they'd get full credit if they did the minimum amount of work. Well...

I knew. I just knew. Even when they volunteered to go first, I knew.

And I was right.

They got up in front, and they giggled their way through their presentation. They had done the work. Sort of. But they didn't really spend any time on actually talking through their points.

Good thing I came up with a grading system for the assignment. Because that wasn't going to fly. (I scored them from a low of OK, through good, very good, and one group got an excellent.)

Their presentation was OK. And no amount of buttering me up is going to change that score. Because they played around way too much.

Power Point Humor

I was surprised by a rare summer school assignment last week. (I got the notification for it the week prior.) It was to be one day (Monday) for a health teacher.

As I plotted out my blog posts for last week, I had a hole for Wednesday, so I figured I could slot something in about the day. And I did. Although, that wasn't from Monday...

Because as soon as I got home Monday, I got a message saying the teacher would be out all week, and could I continue to cover? Well, yeah... And that's how I got a whole week's worth of work in July. (Happy birthday to me? My birthday's this Sunday, if you're keeping track.)

(The teacher had a family emergency.)

I had the same group of 39 students for four hours. And while they acted much like 9th graders at transitions, they were diligent with their work. Which wasn't surprising. (The reason they were taking health in the summer was because instead of taking health during the school year, they were taking an AP class.)

On Thursday the topic was pregnancy and childbirth. They were to create a PowerPoint presentation detailing the development of a fetus during pregnancy.

As per normal, I walked around the computer lab and looked over their shoulders. They hadn't been at it very long when one group's PowerPoint caught my attention. (This is a recreation of what they did.)

Ahem.

That they were embarrassed when they found me looking over their shoulders made it even funnier. One accused another of being "disrespectful". I gave them a grim look while they deleted this and got on task.

I kept the laughter inside. Because, you have to admit, it's pretty funny. (It wouldn't be funny if it was true. It's not true.) But I didn't want them to know that.

(Perhaps they were just trying out that formatting?)

Not Quite Off Topic

Today's post is a little more risqué than I normally do, but I just couldn't resist...

I got called to cover a health class for summer school. Four hours with the same group. They all missed taking health during the school year, so they're making it up now. (They all just finished 9th grade.)

The topic of the day was HIV/AIDS. They were to create a PowerPoint presentation outlining the topic as if they were going to present this to a 5th grade class.

While meandering about the room, I heard two boys discussing their project. One mangled a term, so I gently corrected him. "Oral-genital."

Him: "What's that?"

Other boy: "A blow job."

I nodded a confirmation.

First boy: "What's a blow job?"

Probably the only time such a question would actually be on-topic.

(No, I didn't explain. I could have. Maybe I should have. But I didn't feel it was my place to go into it right then.)