Vocab Lesson

I had been warned about 5th period. I immediately started in by making sure they were all in their assigned seats. Then I explained that since I can't read and talk at the same time, I knew they could not, so therefore I expected silence.

(I didn't really expect silence. I never expect silence. I figure silence is something to strive towards, depending on the assignment. But I will push for it if the circumstances warrant.)

I got the usual refrain. "We can multitask."

But eventually they settled down. Not to silence, but to a quiet enough where I figured that most could get the assignment done.

It was a middle school advanced ELD class. ELD stands for English Language Development. These are the students who aren't native English speakers, and their assignment was to read a story (in English) out of their textbook.

They should need it quieter, right?

One boy was talking to two of his neighbors. They were clearly not doing the assignment. So, I asked how what they were talking about could have anything to do with the reading assignment. (This is how I usually approach students who are off task.)

"Well... We were talking about a Chinese girl, and this story is about a Chinese family..."

Tenuous connection at best. I was about to say that when I remembered where I was.

"Have you ever heard the word 'tenuous'?" I asked.

They hadn't. At which point I explained it. A couple students asked if it was kind of like fragile. And in a minute or two, most had now been introduced to the term.

I turned back to the boy.

"Yeah, so that excuse. Tenuous at best."

At least they learned something new.

Just Their Imagination

I finally got around to making a What If? tab. It lists all the previous questions I've asked on the blog, and it gives the rationale for these posts. And I got it done just in time for the A to Z Challenge. Whew.

This week's question... Yeah, it's another that I have no idea where it came from. Okay, then...

What if we are the figment of someone else's imagination?

De-Pierced

The boy came in wearing a nose ring. His teacher reminded him to remove it as it was against the dress code. (The teacher was on his way out of the room at the time, leaving me to cover his classes.) Then the teacher explained to me that the boy was enjoying setting off metal detectors while he still could.

"When do you go in [to the army]?"

"August 4th."

The boy dressed like a stereotypical punk rocker. He wore the jeans vest with band fabric "patches" safety pinned and clearly hand stitched to it. He wore the fraying jeans. He had the standard Dr. Martens. His hair was short and spiky. The nose ring completed the look.

The one thing he didn't have was the gauged ears. So I asked him about them.

He used to have them. Apparently, army code prohibits piercings where one can see through a person's ears. So, the boy had surgery to close his up.

I did not know you could have gauged ears closed up.

He must really want to be in the army if he's willing to de-pierce himself.

We talked of various things that period. (He was the TA, and the rest of the class was testing, so it was just him and me.) I asked about his army plans. Where he'd be doing boot camp. What he wanted to do after.

There's a reason I try not to prejudge students based on their appearance. When I don't, it leaves me open to hearing the real story.

Troll

When I checked in I saw it right away. The yellow sticky note of doom. It's how the secretary lets us know that she needs us subs to cover an extra period.

This day's yellow sticky note of doom was extra nefarious. It informed me that not only was this class special ed, it was also "ED". Which stands for emotionally disturbed.

What could go wrong in one period?

The teacher was there when I arrived. He explained their assignments to them, and then he left for his meeting.

One boy dug through his backpack. He had his book, a sheet of paper, and something to write with. What could he be looking for?

"Problem?" I asked.

He muttered his response, but I still heard every word he said.

"Problem? Problem? You're like one of those internet trolls, popping up with a smiley face, saying, 'Problem? Problem?'..."

Um, okay...

At least he wasn't throwing angry words at the student on the other side of him anymore. (I'm not sure what he was angry about, but he was ranting about something.)

Another student crossed the room to start a random conversation. Never mind that he was supposed to remain in his seat and do the work assigned. The conversation about some guy and a local gang was much more important.

I went over to gently nudge him back to his seat. Muttering boy took offense at this as well.

"That's why everyone hates subs. You come in and stick your nose where it doesn't belong. You're the most hated creatures at school. Why anyone...?"

Wow. That was really vicious. If I had been a newbie sub that would have brought me to tears. But I'm not a newbie sub.

My thoughts were more of the this-boy-is-really-angry variety. And not only was his teacher grateful to see me (so the teacher could attend his meeting), there are some students who genuinely do like me. So, not really Most Hated.

Soon thereafter, muttering boy blew up at another student and stormed out of the room. Just as another student predicted. I guess his diatribes are a daily occurrence.

Scenes from 6th Period

The lesson plan stated that the class was to continue working on their "group projects" and they were to have "four pages and three songs" by the end of the period.

Turns out the "group project" was for each 8th grade group to write a mini-musical.

One group was already finished. One group said that the one person who had all their stuff wasn't at school (naturally). One group was made up of students who had missed the day with the instructions, so they had no idea what to do.

So, naturally, the class was loud and not really all that on task. Most found something else to do.

Someone was flipping backpacks. After the second one got flipped, I kept my eyes peeled, but didn't catch the culprit trying it again.

One group kept shaking a cell phone. (I allowed the cell phones as they had to pick songs to go with their mini-musicals.) I went over to investigate. Did you know there's a Spin the Bottle app?

One student... Well, the quote was perfect as is, so I tweeted it...

#studentquote: I made a fatality on the cockroach. #subfiles
— Elizabeth Arundel (@ZiziRho) March 12, 2014

And one student was so bored, he started "cleaning" the band room. He brought me all of his findings. He found two working pens, five pieces of pens, a drum stick, a tennis ball, and 8 cents. I let him keep the working pens (another student appropriated them from him) and the 8 cents (but he didn't want the change).

I suppose it could have been worse...

Fictional Holidays

So, it turns out St. Patrick's Day is another American invention (along with spaghetti and meatballs, fortune cookies, and chop suey). I'm not really surprised...

But it got me thinking (which is why I'm posting this on a Thursday instead of this Monday. Oh, and I didn't want to spoil your celebrations. You're welcome). What a fascinating idea...

What if we could create a holiday out of whole cloth? And base it on some purported holiday from somewhere else (giving it more credence)? What sort of holiday would you create?

Local Geography Lesson

12th grade English. And they were assigned a book to read. The Andromeda Strain.

(My senior English teacher assigned us books like A Separate Peace and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Boo!)

Of course, they were not impressed. So, I started them off as best as I could, noting in the first couple pages that there was mention of the Vandenberg Air Force Base and the Mojave Desert. Both of which the students managed to mangle.

So, I asked the pertinent question. Did they know where this story took place?

A couple of them noted that in the first paragraph on the first page, we were told they were in Arizona. The rest?

I asked where the Mojave Desert was, and I got answers ranging from Asia to the Middle East to Africa. And they'd never heard of Vandenberg. (Although that's not surprising. It's 3 hours north of us.)

So, I asked the next logical question. Had any of them driven to Las Vegas? At least half the class raised their hands.

"You've all driven through the Mojave Desert."

Student: "That's that dry nothing?"

Yep, pretty much.

So, at least they learned something in class.